Under The Sea... Of Opinions

A few days ago, the cast of 'The Little Mermaid' live was announced.
I'm not talking a televised live performance of the show. There wouldn't be much point in that seeing as there will be a live-action version of the 1989 Disney classic coming out within the next few years.
No. This version compiles classics from the movie such as the iconic 'Part of Your World' and Broadway additions like 'Her Voice' which Prince Eric sings, despite his lack of singing in the movie.
Brilliant performers are coming together to bring life to these iconic characters while the movie plays behind them. It will be performed at the Hollywood Bowl and a 71-piece orchestra will accompany the all-star cast on Friday 3rd June and Saturday 4th June this year.

As you can see, the cast is pretty impressive. Sara Bareilles as Ariel ('Love Song', 'Brave', every single song on every one of her albums that makes you laugh/cry/happy/relate... Sorry. I'm a big fan), Darren Criss as Prince Eric ('Glee', Broadway, 'Teenage Dream', 'Not Alone', Starkid, Blaine Anderson, Klaine... Okay. Also a huge Darren Criss fan because he's bloody brilliant), Rebel Wilson as Ursula (Love her from the 'Pitch Perfect' movies, 'Bridesmaids' and 'Struck By Lightning' - a brilliant movie written by Darren Criss' on-screen husband on 'Glee' Chris Colfer which mixes dark comedy and life lessons) and several other incredible performers who I, regrettably, know less or nothing about.
Tickets go on sale tomorrow and I'm beyond heartbroken that, yet again, the fact I was born and raised in a regular sized city in small Scotland is keeping me from the things I love (American actors, actresses, TV shows like 'Ellen' and Jimmy Fallon's show to name a few).

I'm very excited. I'm excited whenever Darren does a new show but this one holds a soft spot for him as he's been performing covers of 'Part of Your World' for years, both in his shows onstage and his unforgettable YouTube video. 

Just a note - I'm linking both his and Sara's covers of the song in their characters' names above as well as a video of John Stamos in 'Glee' just because his entire character arc on 'Glee' was fantastic.

Unfortunately, I went on Facebook and saw a Buzzfeed article about the cast being great and Darren Criss being a good choice for Prince Eric and the comments underneath irritated me. 

Which is why I'm writing right now. 

The comments were either about Sara being too old to play Ariel or Darren Criss not being everyone's ideal perceived Prince Eric. 

My main issues with these arguments against two of my favourite artists are as stated below: 

1. It's not a Broadway show or a movie so Sara's age isn't a factor. She's singing Ariel's songs and giving a performance but she's not going to play her in the movie - it's just a live performance - so stop getting your knickers in a twist as my gran would say
2. Darren is an incredible performer. He looks enough like Prince Eric that it's confusing as to why this is even an issue. Add some mousse to his hair, style him right and you have Prince Eric. Also, why are you focusing on their looks alone? Rebel Wilson isn't a giant sea witch. John Stamos isn't a French Lobster.
   If you're going to get silly with one actor, don't forget that the others aren't living up to your high Disney expectations either.

You see what I'm saying?
I got so frustrated that I didn't even comment. Darren and Sara will prove themselves through their talent alone and I have no doubts about them getting positive reviews after the shows. 

Why do they have to be carbon copies of the movie characters anyway? It's insane!
They got here with their talent alone and that's a brilliant achievement! 

And I just read that they had to add a second show to match popular demand for tickets.

If that doesn't get you on board, I don't understand you. 

Be happy, stop picking at people and celebrate the music!

People are always so quick to jump to negatives. 

Let them prove themselves! Give them a chance before you slate them for not being the exact physical match for the Disney characters. 

I can't wait to see how this turns out and I hope to God someone records it or puts it on YouTube because they are going to blow every single critic out of the water. 

That's all! Rant over!

God bless and Goodnight! 

Jessica

xoxo

One Year Without Glee

Now, I'm not talking about the literal 'glee' as in the emotion.
I'm talking about the television show.

Glee ran for six years on the network Fox and, in that time, it had significant highs and lows that remind me of a relationship that starts out amazing but, ultimately, ends in heartbreak and tears.
Described as a 'comedy', Glee started out that way with hilarious characters and crazy storylines.
I'm pretty sure I heard it described as 'High School Musical' as a TV show at one point.

The first episode aired on May 19th 2009 in America.
I, however, did not see it for almost eight months later.

Glee began airing in the UK on Monday 11th January 2010 and its first episode drew 1.3 million viewers to the channel E4.
I actually remember watching it very clearly. I had just turned 14 the week before and I'd been hearing about this new show about teenagers in high school who worked all their problems out through singing and it had been advertised on TV for weeks before. The pilot is funny to watch now. It really was a show founded in comedy and the fact that nothing similar had ever been done in terms of a television programme with singing and dancing every week really helped increase the show's popularity.
It also touched on important issues such as bullying, homophobia, eating disorders, transexuality and its overall message was that you are perfect, just as you are.

I think that's one of the largest reasons as to why it became the phenomenon it did in its early years.
Glee was for all the nerds, losers, wannabe's, dreamers, outcasts. It didn't matter if you were overweight, slim, weird, loud, struggling... Whoever you were, you could lose yourself in a forty minute episode of Glee and the world was a little easier to deal with for a while.

Personally. I was a struggling kid. I never showed it and I still rarely do now (my grandmother's a big believer in putting on a brave face whatever things are going on inside your head) but, for each forty minute episode, I could sing my heart out.
It helped. The Glee fandom, when I eventually found it on tumblr, was welcoming and a happy. safe place.
You could be whoever you wanted in that fandom and it didn't matter because they accepted you.
It even had a live tour!
I was 15 and didn't know anyone who liked Glee so I couldn't go but I bought the DVD when it came out.
Seeing your favourite actors sing your favourite hits of the show was incredible and I still lose myself whenever I watch that DVD.

By this point, the show was starting its third season in the fall and my favourite character had moved on from being Rachel Berry to Blaine Anderson.

Darren Criss auditioned for the show three times and it was third time lucky for the future Warbler.
With a dapper haircut and a uniquely brilliant audition, Blaine Anderson was born.
Darren was given a six-episode arc as Kurt Hummel's (a fan-favourite gay character played by Chris Colfer, now a famous childrens' author) mentor.
Blaine was a proud, gay, preppy teenage boy at a private all-boys school in Westerville, Ohio and everyone fell for his prince-like good looks and charming personality. If that wasn't enough, he sang like a dream and had a pure heart which was shown when he, fearlessly, defended Kurt against school bully Dave Karofsky who ended up sexually assaulting Kurt with a kiss in the locker room due to his own closeted homosexuality and, general, asshole demeanor.
Blaine, and Darren, quickly became a beloved character and he was promoted to season regular within a matter of episodes. His first song on the show, 'Teenage Dream' actually got to number 1 on the Billboard Top 100. That's higher than Katy Perry's version and higher than any other Glee song ever got ('Don't Stop Believing' got to number 2, I believe).
With the overwhelming success of Blaine and the Dalton Academy Warblers, Ryan was quick to capitalize on them and they brought out their own album and were invited to accompany the New Directions on the Glee Live Tour in 2011.
The young love between Kurt and Blaine (Klaine) was even voted the Greatest TV Couple of All Time in 2013.
Since then, the Klaine fandom has hardly diminished.
Klaine will, forever, be my favourite television couple.
Not because they were a gay couple or because they were played by gorgeous, talented actors (both true points) but because the love between them was so real and selfless.
Throughout the years, the writers put them (and us Klaine fans) through everything from an awful breakup that we still think was the biggest waste of time the show ever did (minus the second one in season 6) because it made no sense to their wedding day in the final season.
We saw them grow and change and learn from each other in every conceivable way and it was a beautiful relationship.
Darren and Chris were the perfect people to play the characters and, while speculation about their real-life relationship status flittered over them throughout the years, you couldn't deny their chemistry on and off screen was enviable.

But I didn't write this because I love Darren, Chris and Klaine.

Last year, the final episode of Glee aired and I was in tears the Saturday morning afterwards as I watched it. I even took the next week off of work so I would have time to grieve properly (I also needed a break. Working at that place was not fun 90% of the time).

The thing is that (and I know every popular kid at my high school would mock me for this even now), Glee ending was like saying 'Goodbye' to my younger self.
I know that doesn't make much sense but I first started watching Glee when I was a weird, 14 year old kid who just wanted to sing and make people happy and it was ending when I was a 19 year old teenager who had no idea where her life was going or what she wanted to do.
I felt sad because I was going to miss seeing Blaine every week and even secondary characters I hadn't originally loved but grew to in the end but I also felt sad that I hadn't done anything my younger self had dreamed of.
She wanted to move out at 17, after high school, go to college and university and make something of her life but, due to a difficult couple of years at the end of high school, I hadn't gotten the grades necessary so I wasn't there. She wanted to move far away and start fresh. I still haven't done that.
So I was hit with a thousand emotions at once.

Glee wasn't perfect and it deteriorated in terms of the writing and the outlandish storylines that each actor took to with grace and as much professionalism as possible but its overall message still remains:

"Being a part of something special doesn't make you special; something is special because you are a part of it."

You choose your own path - everyone else's opinions don't choose it for you.

I couldn't finish this post without mentioning Cory.

Cory Monteith played Finn Hudson for four season of Glee but he, sadly, passed away on Saturday July 13th 2013.
He struggled with addiction since the age of 19 and, despite his hardest efforts, our hero wasn't strong enough to defeat these demons.

We had him for four years and, in that time, he warmed every single person whose life he touched's heart.
Cory was a brave man who raised awareness for charities close to his heart, was kind to every fan he met and loved with his entire soul.
My admiration and respect for this man will never be diminished and he lives on in all of our hearts.

So this year without Glee has been an interesting one.
Many of the people in the fandom have moved on to other shows (I'm obsessed with How To Get Away With Murder and two superhero shows which star former Glee actors Melissa Benoist (Marley Rose in Glee) and Grant Gustin (Sebastian Smythe in Glee) in Supergirl and The Flash)) and passions.
I have two close friends out of this fandom and the Glee world is something I will always treasure as it reminds me of the girl I used to be once upon a time.

Whatever your opinion of the show now and what it became, you can't deny that it helped a lot of people with self-acceptance and learning to chase their dreams.

So thank you for your legacy, Glee.
Thank you for inspiring me.
And thank you for showing that being a 'loser' isn't a bad thing.

Jessica
xoxo

Struck By Lightning

Okay, so I already posted tonight/this morning (It's 4:00AM! How did it get this late?!) but I wanted to post about something a little more positive (It's all about perspective, people). Yesterday (well, two days ago now...), I went to see the film 'Struck By Lightning' at Cineworld at the Edinburgh International Film Festival. I've got the book and I know the film's incredible - It's Chris Colfer, how could it not be? I'm totally not biased or anything... - because Chris is a brilliant actor. I've loved him on Glee since Season 1 and, since then, I've watched him turn into such an astounding young man (I sound old...). The fact that he wrote it and starred as the main character... Wow.
Also, Lauren Lopez (One of Darren Criss' best friends and fellow Starkid (Darren Criss is Chris' co star and boyfriend on Glee and Starkid is a production company Darren co-founded with some of his friends from Michigan University, I think)) was in it! She was a celibacy girl but I'm kinda pissed about that, if I'm being completely honest. Lauren is an incredible actor and I think she would have been perfect for the role of Remy Baker. She's amazing. Still. I'm glad she was in it. Even if I'm a little confused as to why she didn't get a more main role.
The film was well-written, had brilliant actors and had the perfect balance of hilarity and wit. I felt so proud watching it on a cinema screen. To see Chris' dreams come to life like that... I... It was indescribable. I'm just really proud of him and I'm looking forward to seeing Darren's film 'Girl Most Likely' in the cinemas soon as well. Although, it's not exactly the same, this is still a big deal for him and I'm going to be proud to see it.
If you get a chance, watch the film, read the book. Or watch it again if you're me. It may be tragic but it teaches a very valuable life lesson.
“I know I'm bitter and a little jaded, and mildly enjoy it, but am I a sad person? Am I happy? 
I plan on being happy in the future for sure, but it isn't here yet. So what does that make me, exactly?” 
My point with that quote is that you can't spend every day living for your future. I do it and I'm trying not to. Your future is coming but you have to live now, not in some imaginary world you want for your future because you never know what's going to happen.
"Life comes at you fast. It hits you and tries to escape and be expressed in any way possible. In a way, it's a lot like...lightning.” 

P.S. Thanks Emily Murphy! I don't know who you are but we got a free ticket thanks to you and I love you because of this. Sorry you were unable to make it though!

Darren Dream (Yes, I mention a dream I had last night. It's brief. Deal with it)

So, Darren Criss started his #ListenUp tour last night at the Fillmore in San Francisco. First, I'd like to say that I am incredibly proud of him. I can't understand the fact that I feel so much for a man I have never met before and probably will never meet but I do. I just think he really deserves this. He's worked so hard for everything he's done and he's got and it's because of that fact (and his unbelievable) talent that he has it all.
Not to mention who he is as a person. I mean, he is amazing. Beyond his talent, he's intelligent, speaks fluent Italian and has an addictive personality. He will spend hours signing autographs for fans and he wrote a fricking letter to his fans the night The Break-Up aired on television (October 4th 2012. Here's a link to the letter, if you would like it https://www.facebook.com/darrencriss/posts/10151069497289147). Technically, the note was posted on the fifth at 33 minutes past midnight but still.
(I'd also like to point out that he had his mom drop him and his brother off to the venue of his first tour. If that doesn't make him the cutest thing to ever exist besides Blaine Anderson and puppies then I don't understand you)
He's just an incredible person. I wish him every success in the world and I truly can't wait to see him achieve all his dreams - both known and undiscovered.
Anyway, the dream part...
Right. Uhm, so I went to sleep earlier than I normally would (Ever since I finished school, my sleeping pattern has been totally fricked) and the dream started. What was weird about it though was that I woke up at three points in the night and, every time I fell back to sleep, the dream would continue where I left off. That doesn't normally happen. It also ended before I woke up for the last time so that was strange. Dreams don't normally 'end' for me; they just stop.
The Dream.
I went to sleep as normal and then woke up in a venue of some sort. Then Darren came out and started playing and I realised I was at his concert. I went with it for a while, took videos, etcetera and ended up talking to this really sweet girl called Anna and I stuck with her for the rest of the time. We danced and sang along to his songs and it was amazing.
When the concert finished, I was kind of at a loss for what to do (seeing as I was in America and I live in Britain and I didn't have anything with me besides my clothes and my phone for some reason. And my phone didn't even have credit so that was pointless. Anna gave me some money and we went for a bit of a wander.
When I got to the airport, I explained my situation to a security person who called my mum and said I'd been gone for two days. Anyway, it cost me £99 to get home and I got booked on a flight.
I thought it was a little bit strange but, at least, I was at the concert in spirit or whatever.
The next time Darren goes on tour, I really hope I can go. He's just breathtaking. His solos on Glee are flawless (I vote Blaine has a solo or sings lead or something in every episode) and his songs are brilliant. To see him perform would be... Words can't describe it.
I also need to see Taylor Swift in concert at some point in my life. I care about her the same way I care about Darren. I could write a book on them both and how much admiration and love I have for the two of them.
Anyway, I think I'm done. So, goodbye for now :)
Jess xoxo

X Factor

So, I got an email back after applying (In December) for the X Factor UK. My audition is tomorrow morning (Wednesday 1st May) at 8:00AM in Glasgow. I live in Edinburgh and I don't know anything about Glasgow, much less how to get to places from the Train Station. I'm extremely worried because I'm going on my own and that's terrifying. I really don't know what to do. I don't even know what song I'm going to sing when I get there! Nor do I have any money to get there with. I'll have to figure something out. Thankfully, I know the lyrics to hundreds of songs due to repeated singing of random songs. I can recite almost any song Taylor Swift has in her albums (Need to brush up a bit on her first album but I'm good with the others) and I know a majority of the songs Glee has covered. I'm considering singing 'Ronan' by Taylor Swift but I always get really emotional. That might be a good thing but I'm not sure. I could always go with a Darren Criss song from his album 'Human' or 'Teenage Dream'. I'm in a bit of a muddle. Hopefully, I'll figure it out but it will most-likely be very last-minute and slapdash. Unlike those of the auditionees that have been planning for this their whole lives. I feel like such a mess... Oh well. Wishing myself luck :S

A Day And A Half Without Sleep

Last night, I went to my friend Jane's house for a catch up. A couple of my other friends came too and we had fun eating Chinese food and talking etcetera. We went home (Not Jane, obviously) at about 12:30PM. I couldn't sleep though so I ended up just staying up.
Didn't do much today really. Can't even remember to be honest. One thing I did do through boredom was go on Omegle.
I ended up talking to a someone who is unhappy. All I know about them is that they're school-age and lives somewhere in America. I think they're a couple of years younger than me and I haven't determined a gender yet.It doesn't matter though.What does matter is that they're unhappy and they feel alone. I can't deal with this. It's horrible. No one should ever have to feel alone. I've tried to remind them that there is so much love waiting out there, you just have to find it. That you should never give up because when you end your life, you don't just lose the obvious, you lose your potential and everything you could have been and done. What if you're supposed to be the next Darren Criss or something? You need to keep fighting because it might not be good today but it could always be better tomorrow. I've been talking to this person for about an hour or so. I gave them my Twitter, Tumblr, YouTube and Facebook details and also my email address in case they ever felt alone or upset or something and needed someone to talk to.
I don't know if they'll use it or not. I just needed them to know that they weren't alone and that I care about them. I can't stand the thought of them suffering in silence and feeling like no one cares. I've done that and, if I can prevent even one person from doing it too then I'll feel a little better.
I'm still talking to them now. I'm doing my best to help them but their depression is getting in the way. It's painful. I'm trying to help and I will continue to tell them anything I think will help (All the truth though. I'm not going to lie to them). It's breaking my heart though. This person seems like such a genuinely good person but, because of bullying and several other factors, they're miserable. I need to go and give them a hug.
I'm going to continue to talk to them for as long as I can without falling asleep because I can't leave them just yet. Especially when I don't know if I'll ever hear from them again. I'm so worried about this person. I need to know they'll be okay and I don't yet. It's horrible. Anyway, I'm going to get back to my conversation with them. Bye or something.

Random Thoughts and Inner Turmoil (More 'Confusion' but whatever)

Today (or tomorrow as it's officially Midnight here in the UK), I stayed inside. I didn't sing as much and I didn't dance around my bedroom (or anywhere else in the house) at all. This means I'm depressed or sad or something. I'm not used to being sad. I normally try and distract myself somehow but it didn't work today. I lay around the house (mostly my bedroom) feeling sorry for myself over my lack of a future. I figure I'm allowed to. I came face to face with my dreams, the potential future I could have. It was so close I could almost taste it. The friends I would have, the dreams that would come true, the songs I would sing... Everything was finally falling into place but, now that my hopes and dreams have been shattered within seconds before even properly becoming a possibility, I am left right back where I started: alone, confused and scared. I'm scared because MGA was something that was real. It was a chance to prove to myself that I was better than what I imagined. That I actually mattered in this world somehow. Now that I've tasted the happiness I could have, I don't want to let it go and I hate that I have to! I auditioned on a whim to see if I could actually do it, never believing for a second that I could get in, but I got a place and I wanted it so badly. It sucks!
So, now, I'm sitting at my computer in my dark bedroom at seven minutes past midnight writing down my thoughts and feelings on something nobody's ever going to see or care about. It's like I'm talking to a therapist only this blog can't give me advice or take notes to refer back to later (not actually sure if that's what therapists do so I apologise for any false statements).
Maybe I'll take a year to go and 'find myself' or something. I never understand what people mean by that though. How can you 'find yourself'? To me, that makes no sense but I'm willing to try and find out what it means so that I can do it too. Just anything that'll give me something to focus on besides the shreds my dreams are being cut into.
I just feel like everyone's moving forward except me. My best friend got an unconditional to Edinburgh University, my other friend's going off to College and my last friend (Yes, I know it's pathetic that I only have three friends but I would have more if I could go to MGA. Damn it!) has a conditional to do a Drama thing at university. Getting that place at MGA made me feel like I was moving forward too. For once, I didn't feel like a failure. I wasn't just the 'stupid' one. I mattered and I was proud of myself.
I keep telling myself that 'everything happens for a reason' but what's the reason for this? What good is going to come from me not being able to go to my dream school and have friends who, not only respect what I want to do in life but, want the same things? What good is going to come from me being unhappy for another year or however long it takes for something good to happen?
I know I sound extremely ungrateful or whatever but I don't mean to.
Ever since I can remember, I have pinned all my hopes and dreams on 2013; the year I turned 17.
I was going to learn how to drive, finally move out and away from my family, go to college or university and do something I love, maybe even get a boyfriend. I was supposed to be happy. Truly happy. 2013 was supposed to be the year that everything changed for the better but none of that stuff's happened. I haven't learnt how to drive yet, I haven't moved out, I won't go to college or university because I'm not clever enough and don't have the money to pay for the school I want to go to and I don't have a boyfriend because, I guess, I'm just not pretty enough.
I'm trying really hard to see the silver lining to all of this and to stay optimistic but what if there isn't a silver lining? What if I'm just not meant to find true happiness or whatever? I guess, I'll just have to deal with it and hope something good happens soon.

On the upside, I did read Darren Criss' LiveJournal posts (someone posted them on Tumblr. I'm not a stalker, I promise) so they cheered me up for about ten minutes. He had some very random thoughts at 17. He should just write a book about all his thoughts. I'd read it.

Gotta Get Back To Hogwarts

Seriously need to stop quoting songs... I'll try and come up with an original title for my next post.

Anyway, the song I've taken my title from is from one of the best musicals ever created: 'A Very Potter Musical'. The song, 'Get Back To Hogwarts', is also brought back for the two sequels 'A Very Potter Sequel' and 'A Very Potter Senior Year'. On Friday (Also known by Klaine fans as Klaine's Two Year Anniversary), Team Starkid (The incredible, talented, inspiration group of people behind the parody musicals as well as others they have created such as 'Starship', 'Me and My Dick' and the infamous 'Space Tour. Not to mention the amazing 'Little White Lie') released the final instalment of their Harry Potter musicals onto YouTube.
I first found out about Team Starkid and 'AVPM' and 'AVPS' in 2010 (about a year after it came out), I think, when my friend Laura showed me a bit of 'AVPM' on her laptop. She was so excited about it and could sing all of the songs. At first, I didn't really get it but Laura insisted I went home and watched the rest of the musical. I did that and fell in love with everyone involved after that. It took me a little while until I watched the second musical though.

When I saw Darren Criss on Glee Season 2, episode 6 'Never Been Kissed', I didn't recognise him. I did, however, fall in love with Klaine (Kurt had been my favourite character up until then. As well as Rachel and Finn). Then I fell in love with Darren. His charisma, his charm and his overall everything (Putting into words how incredible (even that isn't a good enough word for him. Perfect might be closer but that's not quite good enough either). I'm also in love with Chris [Colfer] which is why I have read both his books (He's an incredible writer, it's unbelievable how talented he is. I'm so proud of everything he has accomplished so far and I can't wait to see him (and Darren) progress in the future. I know they'll both achieve so many things. I'm sure most of the Glee cast will) and watched his independent movie which he wrote himself. Didn't like seeing him die so much though. I actually cried... Anyway, this is about Darren and the rest of Team Starkid not my pathetic infatuation with the Glee actors and actresses... Yeah, so, I Googled Darren (Because I'm a creep and wanted to see more of his work) and found out he was in (and wrote some of the songs for) both of those musicals ('AVPM' and 'AVPS'). I then watched them both (The second one was my favourite) and fell even more in love with, not only Darren, but the entire cast. As the years went on (I say that like it was decades ago or something when it was really only the end of the last decade and this decade. What the frick am I going on about right now?), I watched 'Little White Lie', learnt the lyrics to all of the songs on Darren's EP 'Human' and learnt most of the lyrics to most of the songs in the musicals.

I was so excited when I heard that Team Starkid were going to release the last Potter musical they would ever do but I was also heartbroken. I don't want it to end! They filmed it at the same time that the horrible Glee episode known as 'The Break Up' was shot which meant that Darren had to fly out for it (Thankfully, Glee peeps let him). I'm still not over Klaine's breakup and I doubt I ever will be. It sucks. And all because they weren't the best at communicating their feelings to each other! And some other little problems but I'm not thinking straight right now because it sucks that they broke up! NO!
Right... Back to 'AVPSY' before I have a mental breakdown (21, Eternity, Soulmates etcetera. Just remember this!!!). I watched a bit of it on Saturday morning (I stayed up for it because Darren was Tweeting and I got excited), a bit more on Sunday and the whole of the second Act today. Act 2, Scene 6 made me cry. Darren at the end! His eyes were filled with tears which broke me. It must have been so hard for him. He went to college with these people, they're his friends and he is one of the co-founders of Starkid Productions. I'm not entirely sure if this is true but I think this might have been his last show with Starkid. At least for the foreseeable future. He just doesn't have time right now what with Glee and 'Imogene'/'Girl Most Likely' to promote. Plus, as he gets more and more established as an actor and gets more famous and more roles, he will have even less time. Not to mention if he brings out another album (God, I hope he brings out another album!). It must have been very emotional for him to be in that role again for the last time with all of his friends from college. I felt like his 'Totally Awesome' at the end before he walked off with Ron (I think that's what happened but my eyes were brimming with tears so I could be wrong about that) was a 'Goodbye' of sorts. Damn it Darren! Why do you have to keep breaking my heart?!

The point is that it was incredible, mind-blowing, sad (In the bittersweetest of ways and unforgettable. Team Starkid are sure to have brilliant careers and I can't wait to watch them do it (Sounding a bit like a creep but oh well. I'm proud of them!). Lauren Lopez (Draco Malfoy in the Potter Parodies) has already brought out an awesome Recipe Book and has even been in Chris Colfer's film 'Struck By Lightning' (Although, in my opinion, she should have been given a bigger role. She. Is. Flawless! And so talented). Joey Richter (who lives with Darren in LA and plays Ron Weasley) has been on Disney Channel's 'Jessie' (I think that's what it's called) and was even an 'Adam's Apple' (Not a bit fan of Adam to be honest. I don't mind him being friends with Kurt but I ship Klaine. Why can't Blaine fly to New York and tell Adam to 'Stay away from his future husband' like Finn did with Brody? (OMG! Awesome moment! Go Finn!)) on Glee! I know the others have had some awesome accomplishments but Joey and Lauren are two of my favourites (along with Darren, Joe Moses (One-man Showses), Brian Holden and the Lang's of course. Also love Meredith, Dylan Saunders, Joe Walker and Brian Rosenthal) so I thought I'd mention them.
Going to miss Darren working with Team Starkid as he is truly home when he is with them but I wish them all the luck in the world for their future. If you haven't watched the musicals then I really urge you to. Even if you hate musicals! Watch it and I dare you not to be impressed. I guess, now that I've seen them all, I'll go back to the start. Where it all began.

I don't wanna see you go, but it's not forever, not forever! Even it was, you now that I would never let it get me down. You're the part of me that makes me better, wherever I go! So I will try not to cry-- but no one needs to say goodbye...
Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts, to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts, it's all that I love and it's all that I need at Hogwarts, Hogwarts! Back to spells and enchantments, potions and friends, to Gryffindors! Hufflepuffs! Ravenclaws! Slytherins! Back to the place where our story begins at Hogwarts, Hogwarts! "Man, I'm glad we went back!"

P.S. I stole all of the pictures! Consider me a big old photo-thief :P

Dancing With Myself

So, ever since I got my acceptance letter, I've kinda been panicking. It's really expensive and, if I somehow manage to do it, I'll have to do it on my own (Like, find out about financing etcetera on my own and take out a loan or whatever). It's been worrying me since Thursday 7th (Letter day). On one hand, this is my dream (well, not exactly but it will help towards my dream) and I don't want to end up as one of those people who regrets doing everything possible to achieve their dreams. On the other hand, it's going to be really difficult. I don't even know if I can get the money together by Sunday (17th). I'm, pretty much, the most panicked I've ever been in my entire life. Why didn't I think about all of this before I auditioned? Oh yeah, because I'm an idiot! No, truthfully, I never actually thought I'd get in in the first place. I didn't think I was good enough (still don't) and I'm genuinely confused as to how it happened. Anyway, that's what I need to figure out this week. I also need to keep this from my family. My gran doesn't really care, my aunt is just focussing on all of the negatives and my mum is trying but she doesn't need to worry about this. I am perfectly capable of handling it on my own. Like I've done with most things.
As for the title, it refers to a song that was covered on Glee where Artie had a dream sequence type thing and got up and did this crazy dance thing in a shopping centre (mall). I've been trying to lift up my spirits by dancing around my house in my pyjamas. (What am I talking about? I do that when I'm not sad!). I've been singing and dancing around my bedroom and the kitchen (Kinda difficult to really dance in the shower what with it being so slippery but I do try. I also dance a little in the hall and living room when people are out but my dancing's mostly refrained to the kitchen (when I'm making food) and my bedroom) a bit more than often though (that's probably not true).
I'm hoping the next few days go a bit better but, whatever happens, one thing's for sure; AVPSY is coming out on YouTube on Klaine's 2-year Anniversary! Their Klainiversary, if you will (I'm so embarrassed of myself right now but I'm also really excited so I don't care that much)! I can't wait! I'm sure it'll be incredible (Because Starkid are incredible. In fact, there aren't any words awesome enough to describe them. The point is that it will be perfection). I have a feeling that it's going to be quite bittersweet though. On one hand, I'm really excited to see it because I've been looking forward to seeing this since I found out they were doing it while Darren was filming 'The Break Up' episode back in July. On the other hand though (Yes, it's the second time I've done this in this little blog thing but I don't care), it's the last Harry Potter themed musical that Starkid are going to do and it's going to be really sad when it ends. I don't want it to end! There's also the thought about what Darren was filming on Glee at this time. That's not too happy. Oh well...

Frick.

I would love to have chosen a better title for this post but I feel like that one word manages to sum up all my feelings perfectly.
Today was my audition. I was looking forward to it (even though I was extremely nervous and terrified). I thought that the dancing would be funny, the acting horrible and the singing easy. I was wrong. The dancing was horrible! I was trying to smile but I couldn't do it and my leg didn't go very high and it was all a disaster. And I pulled a muscle or something in my right leg so it was all really painful (this is what happens when people who never exercise do even the tiniest bit). I'm sure the dance teacher person thought I was a joke. Probably not actually. He seemed too nice. Still. I was pretty bad.
The acting wasn't as horrible as I thought it was going to be but it was still bad. The thing is though, I actually tried really hard and I knew my lines! I'll admit that I only learnt it the hour before the audition started but I had it, I really did! I practised in the bathroom a few times and I knew it really well and I was having fun. As soon as I entered the room though, it all went in the pooper. I was awful. I kept messing up the lines and getting flustered. Basically, I was dreadful.
And as for the singing... This was the one area that I was confident in. I was sort of looking forward to it actually. I knew both songs off by heart and I was ready to sing even though I've never sung (properly) in front of more than one other person. I got in there, started singing 'Hopelessly Devoted To You' after singing a really quick snipit of 'Locked Out Of Heaven' because one of the directors didn't know what song it was. I got to the end of the chorus and they stopped me (obviously, I panicked). Anyway, they told me they wanted more power or something. I am not a belter. Therefore, I continued panicking. I then had to shout for a few times and I don't think I did it right then either. They didn't ask to hear 'Locked Out Of Heaven'.
After a ridiculous amount of apologies, I left the room (only two apologies but still). I talked to the friends I had made that day about how awful it had went. It was one of those moments when you realise that the thing you're most proud of about yourself, your greatest skill is actually not very good at all. I feel like crap. I was, obviously, too awful for them to be able to stand hearing me sing another song. Or wreck it rather.
I stayed for a while after that until the end and listened to a director talk about the course. It's really interesting and it'll suck when I get that letter saying I haven't made it into the course. Oh well. I tried, I suppose. There's always next year...
On a lighter note, when I got home, I discovered that the 'Girl Most Likely' (or is it 'Imogene'? I don't know! There was a name change a while ago and it's all too confusing for me) trailer had been released. Being a fan of Darren Criss, the fact that he is in a new movie and is half-naked at times and is, generally  perfection brought my mood up a little. I'm so proud of him! He'll never know (nor will he ever care) but I am so happy for him. He is one of the most talented people I have ever had the pleasure of watching on TV and YouTube and I can't think of anyone who deserves it more. Just going to have to ignore the fact that Kristen Wiig (Is that how you spell her name?) gets to kiss him, dance with him, pretend to have a crush on him or whatever and pretend to have had sex with him or I'll get extremely jealous. Screw it, I'm already jealous. That's not the point though. I'm really proud of him and I can't wait to see his new movie when it comes out later this year.

1 Day To Go...

Not sure what I'm going to do when I get back from South Africa and can no longer name my posts after how many days I have to go until I leave for South Africa. Guess I will just have to ponder that when I get back.
It's ten o'clock right now and I am panicking. Every five minutes, I remember something else I've forgotten to do. Whether it's ironing, packing, something electrical charging or something else. This is not good. This is bad. Instead of 'Less Stress With Jess', I've become 'Increasing Stress With Jess'. I keep having internal debates about everything; "Should I take this top? No? Leave it. Maybe I should take it. I'll take it. Have I done this? No? Frick. Just another thing to add to my ever-expanding 'To Do List'...". This makes me sound crazy but, I promise, I'm not. If I am, it's the stress. Probably...
So far, I've remembered that I haven't filled out a certain college-application form that I need to send tomorrow and so I'm 'working' hard to get that done. Or, at least, I will be when I finish this post.
I'm also trying to cope with the fact that I'm going to miss A LOT of TV. No Modern Family, The New Normal, Pretty Little Liars, The Vampire Diaries or Glee for the next week. I realise that the fact that I am going to miss them whilst in South Africa may sound a little (a lot) pathetic but these are some of my favourite shows. Each one makes me laugh, get angry, cry (mostly Glee even though it's supposed to be a comedy) or a mixture of all three every week. I enjoy them. There is nothing wrong with that. Maybe I'll get lucky and be so busy/tired that I will forget all about the characters and plots of my favourite television shows. Although, I am pretty annoyed that I'm going to miss Klaine making out at Wemma's wedding. Not because I'm a pervert (don't even have a snarky comment to put here) but because I really love the couple. They love each other so much and I have decided that they will be together forever... once they come to their senses that is.
Don't really know what else to say. Hopefully, I will be able to post a few pictures whilst in South Africa as I've come to like this blogging thing. Even if I am the only one who reads it. It's kinda like a diary and it might be nice to come back to it a few years after I stop (if I ever stop) and read what I wrote at different times in my life. Yes, I am that sentimental. Sorry.
Jessica
xoxo
P.S. Dear future me, please don't turn into an asshole. Be nice to people. Because nobody likes an asshole.

2 Days To Go...

Only two days until I leave for South Africa!
It's just after 10PM here in the United Kingdom and I just found out (a couple of hours ago but that's still pretty recent) that same-sex marriage was legalized in England today! On Darren Criss' Birthday no less! This makes me very happy for obvious (probably not-so-obvious actually) reasons. I am a big lover of marriage. Always have been. I really believe in it and I think that it is something that everyone should have the right to. I just think there's something wonderful about loving someone enough that you want to commit to them for the rest of your life and show the world (or closest friends and family) that you are with this other person forever. To be honest, I've never really understood why anyone would be against two people in love wanting to commit to each other in holy matrimony (not even entirely sure if that's the right term but it sounds right so I'll stick to it for now). I mean, love is love, right?
So, that's where I lie on the whole thing. Me, being a hopeless romantic and all. I really could go on about this topic forever and how much I support it and how happy it makes me but I won't. Because I don't have hours to kill unfortunately.
Today was my Philosophy prelim which sucked as I kinda wanted to spend Darren Criss' birthday celebrating with all the other 'nice people' (Darren Criss joke. He once referred to his fans as 'really nice people'. I think it was during an interview for The Trevor Project in 2012 actually. Once again, if I've gotten this particular quote wrong, I apologize. Even though I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who will ever read this blog) on Tumblr, Twitter and Facebook. But, alas, I could not do that.
Darren Criss is just one of my many celebrities I'm in love with (Others include Chris Colfer, Lea Michele, Taylor Swift, Tyler Oakley, John Green and Zach Braff. Also, Zac Efron and Ellen Degeneres...). I hate the fact that the only time I will ever be lucky enough to talk to him/hear him sing a song to me/hear him sing a song about me, is in my dreams. But, there's not much I can do about that so I may as well accept it. Darren Criss is just one of those flawless human being that can, literally, do anything. He can sing, dance, play any instrument ever created and is also extremely clever and funny and adorable. Not to mention all his humanitarian work and his song-writing skills. He also happens to be gorgeous beyond compare. It's unfair really. I'm not entirely sure he's human. Still speculating that he's a God of sorts...
Anyway, yeah, he turns 26 today! Happy Birthday to him!
And I'm done with my Darren bit...
I just finished (again, more like half an hour ago now but whatever) typing up biographies for my school yearbook (only 5, mine and four others). Two of them were mostly about football. Or, rather, the football teams the person liked and how the friend who had written it did not support the same team. Mine was quite sweet actually. I managed to sneak in a Taylor Swift reference at the end (Yes, I'm that type of person) so I'll always have that private joke with myself which is nice. Yeah, it's nice that I can have my own private jokes with myself. Just shows how ridiculous I am. I put Taylor Swift's song title 'Change' into the last sentence. It isn't a very big or noticeable thing which is what I wanted. For the next 20, 30, or even 50 years, I will be able to look back on my High School yearbook and remember how silly/sentimental I was back in 2013 (Or, now).
I'm going for coffee with my best friend Jane tomorrow which should be good. Going to mix it up a little and order a fat-free vanilla cappuccino. When I say 'little', I really do mean it. My normal order is a fat-free vanilla latte. Can you tell how rebellious I am?
Jessica
xoxo