A Letter to My Boyfriend During Lockdown

Dear Darling,

I know I've been a bit of a hormonal mess these last two months and I wanted to say that I'm sorry.
I can't promise I'll be better with it (not seeing my friends is taking its' toll on me) but I do promise to try.

There have been more than a couple of times where you've probably been sat staring at me, wondering what on Earth you did wrong.
I can't always explain it but I appreciate how you handle my 'annoyed at you for something stupid' moments.

You're absolutely not perfect at dealing with me but I don't you expect you to be.

You try.

That's enough for me.

We weren't ready to move in together when lockdown happened.
Seven months into a relationship is not very long when you've each been single and used to doing things on your own terms for your entire lives.

Somehow, we've managed.
I've gotten mad at you several thousand times and it hasn't been perfect or easy every single day but it's almost three months into lockdown and we're still coping.

In fact, I think we're doing better.

I'm sorry it doesn't always seem like I should be getting mad at you for certain things and I'm sorry I'm not always happy and I'm more prone to chilled sadness.
Please understand that while I am not a girl who always needs to have a boyfriend, I am a girl who always needs to be able to see her friends.

I'm struggling a lot without them.

I'm writing this on here partly because I know you'll never read it and partly because I just need to get it out of my system.

Lockdown is hard on everyone in different ways.
With us, well I'm an extrovert while you're extremely introverted and here I am expecting you to make up for my lack of ability to socialise at the moment when you need much more alone time than I do.

It isn't fair of me to do that and I should probably try to be better in that area.

I think The Script summed it up pretty perfectly in a song they wrote years before Coronavirus meant we were unable to leave our homes.

'Oh these times are hard and they're making us crazy, don't give up on me baby'

Lockdown is difficult and it's making me a little crazy but please don't give up on me.

I'm trying.

I know you are too.

All my love,

Jessica
xoxo