Frick.

I would love to have chosen a better title for this post but I feel like that one word manages to sum up all my feelings perfectly.
Today was my audition. I was looking forward to it (even though I was extremely nervous and terrified). I thought that the dancing would be funny, the acting horrible and the singing easy. I was wrong. The dancing was horrible! I was trying to smile but I couldn't do it and my leg didn't go very high and it was all a disaster. And I pulled a muscle or something in my right leg so it was all really painful (this is what happens when people who never exercise do even the tiniest bit). I'm sure the dance teacher person thought I was a joke. Probably not actually. He seemed too nice. Still. I was pretty bad.
The acting wasn't as horrible as I thought it was going to be but it was still bad. The thing is though, I actually tried really hard and I knew my lines! I'll admit that I only learnt it the hour before the audition started but I had it, I really did! I practised in the bathroom a few times and I knew it really well and I was having fun. As soon as I entered the room though, it all went in the pooper. I was awful. I kept messing up the lines and getting flustered. Basically, I was dreadful.
And as for the singing... This was the one area that I was confident in. I was sort of looking forward to it actually. I knew both songs off by heart and I was ready to sing even though I've never sung (properly) in front of more than one other person. I got in there, started singing 'Hopelessly Devoted To You' after singing a really quick snipit of 'Locked Out Of Heaven' because one of the directors didn't know what song it was. I got to the end of the chorus and they stopped me (obviously, I panicked). Anyway, they told me they wanted more power or something. I am not a belter. Therefore, I continued panicking. I then had to shout for a few times and I don't think I did it right then either. They didn't ask to hear 'Locked Out Of Heaven'.
After a ridiculous amount of apologies, I left the room (only two apologies but still). I talked to the friends I had made that day about how awful it had went. It was one of those moments when you realise that the thing you're most proud of about yourself, your greatest skill is actually not very good at all. I feel like crap. I was, obviously, too awful for them to be able to stand hearing me sing another song. Or wreck it rather.
I stayed for a while after that until the end and listened to a director talk about the course. It's really interesting and it'll suck when I get that letter saying I haven't made it into the course. Oh well. I tried, I suppose. There's always next year...
On a lighter note, when I got home, I discovered that the 'Girl Most Likely' (or is it 'Imogene'? I don't know! There was a name change a while ago and it's all too confusing for me) trailer had been released. Being a fan of Darren Criss, the fact that he is in a new movie and is half-naked at times and is, generally  perfection brought my mood up a little. I'm so proud of him! He'll never know (nor will he ever care) but I am so happy for him. He is one of the most talented people I have ever had the pleasure of watching on TV and YouTube and I can't think of anyone who deserves it more. Just going to have to ignore the fact that Kristen Wiig (Is that how you spell her name?) gets to kiss him, dance with him, pretend to have a crush on him or whatever and pretend to have had sex with him or I'll get extremely jealous. Screw it, I'm already jealous. That's not the point though. I'm really proud of him and I can't wait to see his new movie when it comes out later this year.

It's Today, It's Today!

Yes, I just quoted 'Stuart Little' in my title. No, I will not apologize for it.
Anyway, my audition's today! I can't really believe it. My plan for yesterday kind of collapsed. I ended up spending most of the day shopping for stuff for today and then I went to the Disney store. Bad idea. As soon as I got near the store, I turned into a five year old and, all of a sudden, everything I saw was 'Awesome' and needed to be touched, gazed at longingly or played with. I picked up a Sleeping Beauty doll which said 'Aurora' but I complained (more whined than complained and not really. I think I was too happy to complain properly) because she was, clearly, wearing clothes from before she knew she was Aurora. The doll was actually Briar Rose. The person who worked there was really sweet! I said I wanted to move in and she said she thought more people like me should work in the store (she said this after realising that I was right about Briar Rose). I guess we know where I'm handing my CV into next... I managed to persuade my mum to buy me a mug with a Dalmation on it from the film '101 Dalmations'. It was the awesomest thing ever! If I ever get a boyfriend, I'll wait until we're married and he's legally stuck with me forever before I go into a Disney store with him. Wouldn't want to terrify him. That said, I'm gonna need someone to actually find me attractive enough to want to date me. Chances are slim but I'm holding out hope.
Anyway, my audition! I got back late and watched 'Ant and Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway' (whilst drinking vanilla hot chocolate out of my awesome new mug!) and then got to learning my monologue. But I didn't really learn it at all. I'm still in the middle of deciding which one from 'When Harry Met Sally' I'm going to do (yes, I changed it and I don't think it's very appropriate but I've decided it will be easier if I actually enjoy the film/thing the monologue comes from). I'm thinking probably the classic 'I love you' speech Harry does at the end of the film. I should probably go and get dressed (had a shower. It's not important but I wanted anyone who read this to know that I am not a nudist. Nothing wrong with that. It's just not me. And I'm wearing a towel. I shouldn't have said anything at all...) and start learning my lines... I have less than an hour. This is going to fail! Wish me luck!
http://instagram.com/p/WXZZm3lYfy/

Audition

This post is way more optimistic. As promised.
Tonight, I went to an Open Evening at the MGA Academy. It. Was. Awesome! I was going to go with a friend but she cancelled last-minute (understandably. She's not really into the whole singing/acting thing so she probably wouldn't have enjoyed it). Anyway, I walked in on my own and met a really nice guy (He also got my 'Glee' reference later on about feeling like Rachel Berry when her and Kurt went to that NYADA open day in Season 3 so, of course, I loved him) called Robert. I kinda just stuck with him because he seemed nice and I was a little terrified. We talked to a few students and things before having a tour of the Academy. It's quite small but they only accept about 30 students or so to a course every year (I think it's that anyway... Might be wrong). After the tour, Robert and I (along with a few other people who had come along to the open evening) went to watch the dancers. They were incredible. So flexible and coordinated... I just can't. It was too stunning. After that, we went to see the singers. They were impeccable. I couldn't stop staring! I immediately wished that I had their talent and stage presence. They were all so confident! It was nauseating how good they were. It made me a little nervous. I kept thinking 'I can't dance like that...', 'There's no way I could sing that well!' and 'Well, I'm screwed.'
After the singing, we talked to a few of the students again. Everyone was so nice and passionate! I just wanted to be a part of it all so much (even though it's twelve - fourteen hour days and a lot of hard work). it's worth it. Now I just have to try to figure out how to act by Sunday... And learn it... Frick.
My audition piece's are a monologue from Macbeth where Lady Macbeth tries to persuade Macbeth to kill the king, 'Hopelessly Devoted To You' from Grease for my musical theatre song and 'Locked Out of Heaven' by Bruno Mars or Sting for my 'any genre song'. I'm good with the Grease song (I've been singing it for years) but I need to work on 'Locked Out of Heaven'... I am the least sexy person I know and that song oozes sex. It's also a bit more risqué than I'm used to. Kinda more of a ballad type person. And I don't even want to think about the monologue... Too terrifying for words...
Hoping my audition goes well on Sunday. Robert's audition for the same course in on Sunday too so, at least, I'll know someone.
Fingers crossed...