Here's To Heartbreak

If your heart's recently been broken, Valentine's Day can be just another painful reminder but it's not all bad.

Posted on February 14, 2017, at 9:53 a.m.

TV, music videos and film often depict heartbreak as a beautiful woman in beautiful clothes crying her heart out. Of course, I'm generalising and this isn't exactly a rule and there are exceptions... BUT

What they often don't depict is the little changes to your life true heartbreak causes. They don't tell you that you'll order his coffee or buy his favourite soft drink sometimes just to imagine you're tasting it on his lips. They don't tell you you'll hear from many of your friends and family that this gigantic feeling of loss is something you'll get over when it doesn't actually happen very quickly. They don't tell you you're going to notice changes within yourself that don't even relate to him at all. I'm terrified of needles and usually hold onto my best friend's hand for dear life while holding back tears (Oh how I wish I were kidding...) at hospital appointments but, on Friday at my most recent one, I didn't even flinch. I actually looked at it while the blood was being taken and felt nothing.

When you love someone as much as I have loved and continue to love my first love, that kind of pain you feel from losing them doesn't just dissipate.

It's been two months and I've cried over him three times in the last week alone.

But don't take this as a huge banner from me saying 'Love isn't worth it' because I actually believe the exact opposite.

I'm going to quote something I told a friend of mine who said she wanted love to be 'nice and easy'.

'Unfortunately, I can't promise you that love will be easy because it never is. Even when you do meet the person you'll end up marrying, there will probably be days where you'll cry and you'll question if it's worth it or not. Happy Ever After isn't a right, it's a privilege and it takes hard work and dedication from both sides.

What I can promise you is that true love is out there. Regardless of what happens now or where my life ends up, I consider myself so incredibly lucky because I know real love exists. I've experienced it. Being with him felt like being home and I don't know if I'll ever meet anyone else who will make me feel as safe or as happy or as loved but I'm okay with that because at least I've gotten to feel it once in my life.

You see, true love might not always be nice or easy but the pain that will come with loving someone so much is worth so much more than living without that person.

You could ask me fifty years from now if I regret my first love because of how much pain I have been and continue to be in and I would tell you no. I don't regret a single moment with him.

I know you want easy and nice but real love is worth the effort. I promise.'

You see, for every single part of my soul that heartbreak has left in shreds, there is a memory I will always treasure.

I've read a thousand and one quotes on heartbreak on my quest to understand it and help myself through it and what I've learnt is that it's okay to still miss him after two months.

It's okay to break down crying just because you heard a song he once told you reminded him of you. It's okay to order his favourite coffee and quote what he said about milk ruining coffee when the barista asks you if you want milk in it. It's okay not to hate the one person you thought would never hurt you and who ended up breaking you more than anything else ever could.

But, most of all, it's okay to still be crying over him two months on.

Time can and does heal but, when you've been lucky enough to love someone as much as I have, it doesn't just fade away in a week.

I will always love him, whether he returns to me or not, because he taught me to see the beauty in life. He gave me hope and something to live for.

And you know what? That's okay too. Still loving him is okay.

Heartbreak isn't beautiful but learning how to cope with it and treating yourself better despite the pain you're in is.

I truly admire everyone going through this who is strong enough to keep living.

So Happy Valentine's Day to all of the men and women missing someone.

The pain will fade but the memories never will.

Treat yourself with love and care, try new experiences, go to the gym, don't go to the gym... Be the person he or she made you want to be because you deserve to be that for yourself.

Jessica

(Originally posted on Buzzfeed)

Cats Vs. Dogs • Debatable

Having had both a cat and dogs, I'm so far on the dog side.
Cats can be cute (there's a cat I see while on my way home from nights out sometimes that nuzzles against my legs and is really sweet) but they also know their place in the home. That place is as the VIP.
I have never felt more loved and appreciated in my house than when I had dogs. My old dog Benji would run to greet me at the door and give me kisses and cuddles - one time, I was ill and laying around on the couch and he got biscuits. He nudged one towards me with his nose because he thought it might help and he didn't leave my side until I got better.
My cat Oscar (who I got after Benji) doesn't even acknowledge my existence when I get home. He could not care less.
Dogs are affectionate, kind, loving and will always be your biggest fan.
Cats like to remind you of your place in the household by letting you pet them when they SAY you can pet them.
God forbid you have a bad day and need a cuddle.
It's funny to see the difference between Team Cat and Team Dog though.
I think it's really easy to tell who's a Dog Person or a Cat Person at times.

I mean, I'm a passionate dog person who's okay with cats. One of my best friends (a cosplaying, super-talented singer I met at college) is a cat person.
I'm extremely outgoing and will talk to, literally, anyone. She laughs at me for it. But cats and dogs, ultimately, compliment each other extremely well. Just like her and I.

So, whether you're a cat or a dog person, embrace it and be your awesome self. Uniqueness is important in everything. Have fun with it.

Jessica
xoxo

Under The Sea... Of Opinions

A few days ago, the cast of 'The Little Mermaid' live was announced.
I'm not talking a televised live performance of the show. There wouldn't be much point in that seeing as there will be a live-action version of the 1989 Disney classic coming out within the next few years.
No. This version compiles classics from the movie such as the iconic 'Part of Your World' and Broadway additions like 'Her Voice' which Prince Eric sings, despite his lack of singing in the movie.
Brilliant performers are coming together to bring life to these iconic characters while the movie plays behind them. It will be performed at the Hollywood Bowl and a 71-piece orchestra will accompany the all-star cast on Friday 3rd June and Saturday 4th June this year.

As you can see, the cast is pretty impressive. Sara Bareilles as Ariel ('Love Song', 'Brave', every single song on every one of her albums that makes you laugh/cry/happy/relate... Sorry. I'm a big fan), Darren Criss as Prince Eric ('Glee', Broadway, 'Teenage Dream', 'Not Alone', Starkid, Blaine Anderson, Klaine... Okay. Also a huge Darren Criss fan because he's bloody brilliant), Rebel Wilson as Ursula (Love her from the 'Pitch Perfect' movies, 'Bridesmaids' and 'Struck By Lightning' - a brilliant movie written by Darren Criss' on-screen husband on 'Glee' Chris Colfer which mixes dark comedy and life lessons) and several other incredible performers who I, regrettably, know less or nothing about.
Tickets go on sale tomorrow and I'm beyond heartbroken that, yet again, the fact I was born and raised in a regular sized city in small Scotland is keeping me from the things I love (American actors, actresses, TV shows like 'Ellen' and Jimmy Fallon's show to name a few).

I'm very excited. I'm excited whenever Darren does a new show but this one holds a soft spot for him as he's been performing covers of 'Part of Your World' for years, both in his shows onstage and his unforgettable YouTube video. 

Just a note - I'm linking both his and Sara's covers of the song in their characters' names above as well as a video of John Stamos in 'Glee' just because his entire character arc on 'Glee' was fantastic.

Unfortunately, I went on Facebook and saw a Buzzfeed article about the cast being great and Darren Criss being a good choice for Prince Eric and the comments underneath irritated me. 

Which is why I'm writing right now. 

The comments were either about Sara being too old to play Ariel or Darren Criss not being everyone's ideal perceived Prince Eric. 

My main issues with these arguments against two of my favourite artists are as stated below: 

1. It's not a Broadway show or a movie so Sara's age isn't a factor. She's singing Ariel's songs and giving a performance but she's not going to play her in the movie - it's just a live performance - so stop getting your knickers in a twist as my gran would say
2. Darren is an incredible performer. He looks enough like Prince Eric that it's confusing as to why this is even an issue. Add some mousse to his hair, style him right and you have Prince Eric. Also, why are you focusing on their looks alone? Rebel Wilson isn't a giant sea witch. John Stamos isn't a French Lobster.
   If you're going to get silly with one actor, don't forget that the others aren't living up to your high Disney expectations either.

You see what I'm saying?
I got so frustrated that I didn't even comment. Darren and Sara will prove themselves through their talent alone and I have no doubts about them getting positive reviews after the shows. 

Why do they have to be carbon copies of the movie characters anyway? It's insane!
They got here with their talent alone and that's a brilliant achievement! 

And I just read that they had to add a second show to match popular demand for tickets.

If that doesn't get you on board, I don't understand you. 

Be happy, stop picking at people and celebrate the music!

People are always so quick to jump to negatives. 

Let them prove themselves! Give them a chance before you slate them for not being the exact physical match for the Disney characters. 

I can't wait to see how this turns out and I hope to God someone records it or puts it on YouTube because they are going to blow every single critic out of the water. 

That's all! Rant over!

God bless and Goodnight! 

Jessica

xoxo

Breastfeeding

Another day, another Buzzfeed article to comment on...
This time, one of my favourite celebrity chefs has come under scrutiny for telling women they should breastfeed.

When I first saw the title of the article, I will admit that I slightly rolled my eyes.
I thought 'Seriously? He's promoting breastfeeding in a positive way. Why are people getting so upset?'. After reading though, I realized that it's more than that.
Women aren't upset that it's another male voice preaching about what women should and shouldn't do - they're upset because it puts added pressure on mothers who are unable to breastfeed.
Of course, the health benefits of breastfeeding are well documented and everyone's aware of how good it is for your baby but many women can't breastfeed for medical reasons (mastitis and cracked nipples making it too painful) or their babies won't latch on. These physical difficulties often lead to mothers feeling like they're not good enough and getting incredibly distressed. The emotional implications of preaching about how good it is to breastfeed leaves mothers who can't or choose not to feeling like failures as parents.
I agree that we should promote breastfeeding and healthy attitudes about those who choose to do so in public but there also needs to be more support available for those who can't breastfeed or choose not to.

The biggest feeling I was left with after reading the Buzzfeed article was sorrow.
I'm not a mother myself but it's one of my greatest dreams to be one in the future and I feel awful for anyone who is made to feel like they're not an incredible mother just because they are unable to breastfeed or do not wish to.
My own mother had great difficulties with breastfeeding me and I was admitted into hospital when I was only a few weeks old because I wasn't eating anything.
That, paired with the fact that she had undiagnosed postnatal depression led to her feeling like a failure.
Okay, this was 20 years ago and the 90's but I can't believe we haven't progressed since then.
Why aren't women getting more support from doctors and experts about this? Why are women feeling like failures?
I'd like to think that, by the time I get around to having my own children, my ability to breastfeed will not leave me feeling like a bad mother. If I can't continue, even after months of trying, because I have cracked and bleeding nipples and it's too painful then I hope to God that there's someone I will be able to talk to who ensures me that my ability to be a great mother is not based on my ability to breastfeed.

If you love and care for your child, bathe them, clothe them, take care of them to the best of your ability and are trying your best, YOU ARE A GREAT MOTHER! 
Don't let anyone tell you you are a bad parent when you're trying your best.
I'm not a mother yet but parenting is hard work and everyone who is doing the best job they can without asking for anything back is an amazing parent in my eyes and deserves a reward.
You're doing okay, mums. I promise.

I'll finish this with my original comment on the article and a link to it.

"Women should breastfeed if they can or if they want to. It's great to breastfeed and the benefits are overwhelming but nothing bad is going to happen to your child if you choose not to. Let's promote healthy opinions about breastfeeding instead of dictating what should and shouldn't be done."

http://www.buzzfeed.com/laurasilver/women-are-pissed-off-at-jamie-oliver-for-telling-them-they-s?bffbuk&utm_term=.dq3wx81kj#.ekRn73WAR  

Jessica
xoxo