Struck By Lightning

Okay, so I already posted tonight/this morning (It's 4:00AM! How did it get this late?!) but I wanted to post about something a little more positive (It's all about perspective, people). Yesterday (well, two days ago now...), I went to see the film 'Struck By Lightning' at Cineworld at the Edinburgh International Film Festival. I've got the book and I know the film's incredible - It's Chris Colfer, how could it not be? I'm totally not biased or anything... - because Chris is a brilliant actor. I've loved him on Glee since Season 1 and, since then, I've watched him turn into such an astounding young man (I sound old...). The fact that he wrote it and starred as the main character... Wow.
Also, Lauren Lopez (One of Darren Criss' best friends and fellow Starkid (Darren Criss is Chris' co star and boyfriend on Glee and Starkid is a production company Darren co-founded with some of his friends from Michigan University, I think)) was in it! She was a celibacy girl but I'm kinda pissed about that, if I'm being completely honest. Lauren is an incredible actor and I think she would have been perfect for the role of Remy Baker. She's amazing. Still. I'm glad she was in it. Even if I'm a little confused as to why she didn't get a more main role.
The film was well-written, had brilliant actors and had the perfect balance of hilarity and wit. I felt so proud watching it on a cinema screen. To see Chris' dreams come to life like that... I... It was indescribable. I'm just really proud of him and I'm looking forward to seeing Darren's film 'Girl Most Likely' in the cinemas soon as well. Although, it's not exactly the same, this is still a big deal for him and I'm going to be proud to see it.
If you get a chance, watch the film, read the book. Or watch it again if you're me. It may be tragic but it teaches a very valuable life lesson.
“I know I'm bitter and a little jaded, and mildly enjoy it, but am I a sad person? Am I happy? 
I plan on being happy in the future for sure, but it isn't here yet. So what does that make me, exactly?” 
My point with that quote is that you can't spend every day living for your future. I do it and I'm trying not to. Your future is coming but you have to live now, not in some imaginary world you want for your future because you never know what's going to happen.
"Life comes at you fast. It hits you and tries to escape and be expressed in any way possible. In a way, it's a lot like...lightning.” 

P.S. Thanks Emily Murphy! I don't know who you are but we got a free ticket thanks to you and I love you because of this. Sorry you were unable to make it though!

I Don't Know What I Want But That's Okay

Sometimes, you just have to stay in bed on your own and listen/sing along to Taylor Swift's new album Red all day. That's what I've been doing so far. I kind of had a mini-mid-mid-life crisis. I was frustrated. Everyone's talking about getting into college and university etcetera and I'm not moving forward at all. I'm aware that I'm not very smart or really very special at all in any unique way. I used to be semi-okay with that but everything just kind of started to sink in all at once. My friends, like Rachel and Kurt in the most episode of Glee (4x20), were pressuring me to move on and find something to do etcetera and I found myself trapped. Of course I'm ashamed and embarrassed about the fact that my life isn't going anywhere but their questions/advice, no matter how well they mean all of it, is just making me feel even worse.
Anyway, I really related to Santana's storyline in this episode because I'm in a similar position. The scene with Isabelle Wright was really nice. I loved it.

Santana: Listen, I really love dancing. I'm just not like you guys. I don't know what I wanna do or how I'm even gonna get there.
Isabelle: But you have plenty of time to figure it out. And it doesn't have to be ballet or Broadway. Just as long as it's something that you love, something that feeds your soul. And Santana, baby steps are okay.

That scene was like something I wish would happen in my life. I really love singing but I have absolutely no idea what I want to do or how I'm going to get there. Unfortunately, I don't have an Isabelle in my life to tell me everything's going to be okay and the fact that I don't know what I want or where I'm going in life is okay just now because I don't have to yet; I'll figure it out eventually.
I finish High School next Thursday (2nd May) and the day after's my 'Fun Day' with the entire year (We'll just see how that goes... I might be dressing up as Robin from 'Batman and Robin' but I don't have a Batman so... I spent £30 on that stupid costume though. Hmm... I suppose I could always be a Princess... We'll see), Prom's June 14th (Still need to buy my fricking dress) and then I think I'm officially graduated but I'm not entirely sure. I don't know what the future holds for me but I'll get by. Hopefully. Anyway, yeah... Don't really know what else to say... Bye!