Frick.

I would love to have chosen a better title for this post but I feel like that one word manages to sum up all my feelings perfectly.
Today was my audition. I was looking forward to it (even though I was extremely nervous and terrified). I thought that the dancing would be funny, the acting horrible and the singing easy. I was wrong. The dancing was horrible! I was trying to smile but I couldn't do it and my leg didn't go very high and it was all a disaster. And I pulled a muscle or something in my right leg so it was all really painful (this is what happens when people who never exercise do even the tiniest bit). I'm sure the dance teacher person thought I was a joke. Probably not actually. He seemed too nice. Still. I was pretty bad.
The acting wasn't as horrible as I thought it was going to be but it was still bad. The thing is though, I actually tried really hard and I knew my lines! I'll admit that I only learnt it the hour before the audition started but I had it, I really did! I practised in the bathroom a few times and I knew it really well and I was having fun. As soon as I entered the room though, it all went in the pooper. I was awful. I kept messing up the lines and getting flustered. Basically, I was dreadful.
And as for the singing... This was the one area that I was confident in. I was sort of looking forward to it actually. I knew both songs off by heart and I was ready to sing even though I've never sung (properly) in front of more than one other person. I got in there, started singing 'Hopelessly Devoted To You' after singing a really quick snipit of 'Locked Out Of Heaven' because one of the directors didn't know what song it was. I got to the end of the chorus and they stopped me (obviously, I panicked). Anyway, they told me they wanted more power or something. I am not a belter. Therefore, I continued panicking. I then had to shout for a few times and I don't think I did it right then either. They didn't ask to hear 'Locked Out Of Heaven'.
After a ridiculous amount of apologies, I left the room (only two apologies but still). I talked to the friends I had made that day about how awful it had went. It was one of those moments when you realise that the thing you're most proud of about yourself, your greatest skill is actually not very good at all. I feel like crap. I was, obviously, too awful for them to be able to stand hearing me sing another song. Or wreck it rather.
I stayed for a while after that until the end and listened to a director talk about the course. It's really interesting and it'll suck when I get that letter saying I haven't made it into the course. Oh well. I tried, I suppose. There's always next year...
On a lighter note, when I got home, I discovered that the 'Girl Most Likely' (or is it 'Imogene'? I don't know! There was a name change a while ago and it's all too confusing for me) trailer had been released. Being a fan of Darren Criss, the fact that he is in a new movie and is half-naked at times and is, generally  perfection brought my mood up a little. I'm so proud of him! He'll never know (nor will he ever care) but I am so happy for him. He is one of the most talented people I have ever had the pleasure of watching on TV and YouTube and I can't think of anyone who deserves it more. Just going to have to ignore the fact that Kristen Wiig (Is that how you spell her name?) gets to kiss him, dance with him, pretend to have a crush on him or whatever and pretend to have had sex with him or I'll get extremely jealous. Screw it, I'm already jealous. That's not the point though. I'm really proud of him and I can't wait to see his new movie when it comes out later this year.