Audition

This post is way more optimistic. As promised.
Tonight, I went to an Open Evening at the MGA Academy. It. Was. Awesome! I was going to go with a friend but she cancelled last-minute (understandably. She's not really into the whole singing/acting thing so she probably wouldn't have enjoyed it). Anyway, I walked in on my own and met a really nice guy (He also got my 'Glee' reference later on about feeling like Rachel Berry when her and Kurt went to that NYADA open day in Season 3 so, of course, I loved him) called Robert. I kinda just stuck with him because he seemed nice and I was a little terrified. We talked to a few students and things before having a tour of the Academy. It's quite small but they only accept about 30 students or so to a course every year (I think it's that anyway... Might be wrong). After the tour, Robert and I (along with a few other people who had come along to the open evening) went to watch the dancers. They were incredible. So flexible and coordinated... I just can't. It was too stunning. After that, we went to see the singers. They were impeccable. I couldn't stop staring! I immediately wished that I had their talent and stage presence. They were all so confident! It was nauseating how good they were. It made me a little nervous. I kept thinking 'I can't dance like that...', 'There's no way I could sing that well!' and 'Well, I'm screwed.'
After the singing, we talked to a few of the students again. Everyone was so nice and passionate! I just wanted to be a part of it all so much (even though it's twelve - fourteen hour days and a lot of hard work). it's worth it. Now I just have to try to figure out how to act by Sunday... And learn it... Frick.
My audition piece's are a monologue from Macbeth where Lady Macbeth tries to persuade Macbeth to kill the king, 'Hopelessly Devoted To You' from Grease for my musical theatre song and 'Locked Out of Heaven' by Bruno Mars or Sting for my 'any genre song'. I'm good with the Grease song (I've been singing it for years) but I need to work on 'Locked Out of Heaven'... I am the least sexy person I know and that song oozes sex. It's also a bit more risqué than I'm used to. Kinda more of a ballad type person. And I don't even want to think about the monologue... Too terrifying for words...
Hoping my audition goes well on Sunday. Robert's audition for the same course in on Sunday too so, at least, I'll know someone.
Fingers crossed...

You've Gotta Get Up & Try...

Friendship. It's a funny thing. One moment, you have people who are there to support you unconditionally, the next moment, you are entirely on your own.
I wrote the above statement on my phone on Tuesday (26th February) after something horrible happened.
Let me take you back a few months, last year (Not entirely sure what month. Maybe November? I don't think it's that important) I went to a friend's house with three other friends. While I was there, we talked about personal stuff (not unusual). Anyway, one of my friends told the rest of us something extremely personal which none of us had known about her. I'm not going to go into what it was because this blog is online and I don't really want to say it. It's not my secret to tell. We were all supposed to stay the night but one of my friends left early. I left about an hour and a half later because her house wasn't very big and I didn't know where I would be sleeping which stressed me out a little bit and I suddenly felt homesick (probably just needed my own space). When I got home, I told the friend who'd left before me that I had gone home. She phoned me and we talked about a bunch of things. I don't remember everything. One thing I do remember is that she had said she was uncomfortable with whatever the girl who's house we were supposed to be staying at had said. I'm not sure if she meant it and I may have gotten the wrong end of the stick. The point is that she said it and I should have kept that to myself. But I didn't. Now, I can keep secrets but, for some reason, I didn't keep this one (seriously regretting that now. From now on, I'm never repeating anything anyone says to me ever again. Even if it's just that they're getting new curtains or something equally not very important (I'm sorry. Getting new curtains is a very important thing and that was a crappy example but you get my point)). I told the two girls who stayed at that other girl's house what the girl on the phone had told me. One of them then persuaded me to tell the girl it was about so I did that the next week (really wish I hadn't done that too). She was a bit upset but I thought that was it. To be completely honest, I had completely forgotten about it by the time it came up again. Everything was semi-okay until about a week before I went to South Africa. Then, all of a sudden the phone girl and the house girl started being a little 'off' with me. I was a bit confused but didn't think too much of it. In South Africa, I could tell that house girl (none of the other girls went) didn't really like me very much but, again, I didn't think much of it. On Tuesday, I sent phone girl a text saying that I was really sorry that we weren't friends right now even though I didn't know why. I also said that, if she didn't want to be friends with me again, then I completely understood. I meant every word of it. Apparently though, that was a manipulating text.Whatever. So, I went to my favourite little cafe (one we go to often) with all four girls. Once we'd ordered, phone girl and house girl decided to 'confront' me. They talked at me for the next half hour or so. I listened to everything they said. About the kind of person I was, about what it was I had apparently done to them. It was a bit much for me to take in to be completely honest. I was a little stunned. During that time, house girl called me 'manipulative'. I may have glared at her for that... In my defence though, they were being really cruel and that, to me, was going a bit far. Anyway, apparently, phone girl had told house girl at some point that I had lied about what she said and house girl wasn't very happy about it. For some reason (I think I was just trying to stop myself from running out of there and crying), I didn't tell house girl the truth. I just said I couldn't remember. I don't really remember much of what I said. I don't think I tried to defend myself very much. I don't even think I was in the right mind to. I remember saying that, if all I was doing was hurting everyone in the group, then I would leave it and make different friends. They probably thought I was manipulating them then too. *rolls eyes*
They said I shouldn't do that because I still had two friends in the group and it would hurt them. I think house-girl was trying to take the moral high ground. She kept saying she could be 'civil' with me but I didn't care about her by then. As soon as she said I was 'manipulative', that was it. I mentally crossed her off my list of people I ever wanted to talk to again.
Soon after that, someone said we should leave if we wanted to get back for class. As soon as that was said, I put my coat on, grabbed my bag and left alone. I was trying (desperately) not to cry by this point. It's ironic that I told the truth but I was being punished for it. Anyway, I called my mum and asked her if I was manipulative  She said I wasn't but I argued with her saying that I probably was but that I just didn't know how. When I got to school, I went straight upstairs to my Philosophy class and stood outside. A few minutes later, one of the friends who hadn't said anything bad about me came upstairs and ushered me to come over to her. I did as I was told and just went into her arms and cried. Not for long and not properly. I think I was still too stunned. I told her the truth about the conversation on the phone. She told me that I should have said something back at the cafe and maybe I should have but I wasn't emotionally stable enough to. She promised that she would never stop being friends with me but I didn't believe her as much as I wanted to. I don't think I'd believe anyone.
I went home to an empty house (my gran was still in hospital. She had been since the Wednesday before I think) and just sat in my living room for a while. I just sat there. I didn't move for over half an hour. Just stared into space. I thought about who I was as a persona and was basically just really depressed. Then I decided to try acting like normal. It didn't work. I put my pyjamas on and tried singing some songs (that usually always works when I'm upset. It didn't this time). I remember putting the TV on and not-watching it. I just stared at it for a while. My mum came to check on my a little while later but I didn't want to be around anybody.
Later that evening, three people phoned me: my two remaining friends (the ones who hadn't said anything earlier that day) to check I was okay (which I wasn't) and phone girl. She said she wanted to be friends but I'd heard about her saying things about me to people after the cafe incident. I decided to agree to be friends. I was still upset and I didn't eat or sleep very much that night.
The next day, I went into school and saw house girl. Me, Philosophy girl and my other friend went back to that cafe (but sat at another table). Philosophy girl persuaded me to tell the truth. I did it begrudgingly then regretted it after house girl's reaction. She said 'well, you should've said that yesterday and phone girl isn't here to defend herself so I'm not going to discuss it'. I see her points but still. There wasn't even any point in me telling the truth after the day before. In my opinion, if your friend tells you something but you hear a contradictory thing from someone else and you believe it without question, then you weren't really friends to begin with. At least, you weren't a good friend. Real friends don't doubt each other or call each other names like that. Names hurt. They sting and it's just plain mean. Maybe that's just me. The fact that she was so willing to accept that I could ever do such a nasty and thoughtless thing told me everything I needed to know. Also, I didn't want her to be my friend again so me telling her had no point (as in, there was nothing to gain from it). I just hope it didn't make things worse.
This was yesterday.
Today, when I saw house girl, I barely looked at her. We're never going to be friends again and I'm okay with that. I don't need people like that in my life. I need people who are going to ask me if something's true before accepting that it is. I need people who are going to stand by me and defend me instead of attacking me. Loyal people. I hope I meet people like that soon. Going it alone all the time is getting tiring.
Philosophy girl and my other friend are good people though so, I guess, I should be grateful that I know them.
To be completely honest, I don't even want to be in school any more  I'm actually considering leaving which is something I never planned on doing. I always wanted to graduate High School but I'm not sure if me being in school is a very good thing right now. I only have two classes and I never go to one of them and I'm not clever enough for the second. And, now that I only have two friends and two months left, it's seeming more and more pointless.
The title of this post is from the song 'Try' by Pink. It was just going to be 'Friendship' but I felt a lyric was more appropriate for this particular post. I'm trying to remember it constantly. I have to get up and try because I don't want to give up and let them win. I have to be strong. This may be my most honest post ever but, as I'm still fairly certain that I'm the only one who will ever read it, I'm okay with that. Hopefully, I'll be able to look back on this post in the future and smirk because I now have amazing friends and am extremely happy. I hope so anyway.
The next post will be slightly more optimistic. Promise.
Jessica
xoxo

Name Change (Blog not me in real life. I like my name)

So, I changed my name on this to 'Just Jess'. I realised that I was blogging about my life and life isn't stress free. Especially not mine recently. I'm, generally, a very optimistic person but I haven't been feeling very optimistic recently. In fact, I've been feeling the opposite. I'll write another post on that in a minute.
The point is that life is stressful. Life is complicated, people are cruel and bad things happen. My life is nowhere near perfect. It's not happy all the time and it's not always enjoyable. By naming my blog 'Less Stress With Jess', I feel like it was portraying an untrue image of me (even though I'm still about 99.9% sure that I'm the only person who will ever read this, I didn't want to lie to myself either).
As depressing as my description of life was a second ago, I'm not pessimistic about it (even though it definitely seems that way). Life is also laughter and fun and unforgettable experiences. It's not always complicated, people aren't always cruel and good things happen as well. Just because my life hasn't been a picnic so far doesn't mean that my future will be dark and dreary. I am extremely hopeful that it won't be. I have a feeling my next post is going to be an extremely honest one about what's been happening in my life recently and I'm not entirely sure I'm up for that. But I can't let myself forget it either (not that I think I'll be forgetting it ever). The post after that may be slightly more optimistic. Just can't put it in the next post because it would be kinda strange and they're completely unrelated topics.
Anyway, I changed my name on Blogger. No big deal.
(And my page thingy (msjessjohnston) is my Twitter and Tumblr username thing which is why I thought it would make sense if it was my blog too. Also, justjess was taken)

Reflecting On My Trip To South Africa...

So, I've been back for a few days now and, even though I've been really sick ever since (You do not even want to hear about my embarrassing encounter with a student doctor yesterday... Basically, I held his hand for a little while because it was cold and I was too hot. That sounds worse than it was and it's not even the only embarrassingly inappropriate thing I did but it's the only one I can bring myself to type. I hope he has a very successful career in whatever field he chooses to go into), I haven't stopped wishing I was back in South Africa. People were incredibly friendly and I felt welcomed and loved at the schools I visited. The food was incredible and I enjoyed singing and dancing with loads of people at Dloko on Valentine's Day and again the day after. I really hope I get to go back there someday (Hopefully, within the next couple of years).
I went to South Africa thinking that I probably wasn't going to like it very much but at least I would have the experience and left South Africa wishing I could stay. It's something I would recommend to anyone. I don't feel that the trip has changed me necessarily (at least, not in any major ways) but I do feel that I've come away from it a little braver and a little less scared of change and trying new things (I tried octopus, for example, while there. Didn't like it. Kinda chewy and a bit rubbery. Not that I've eaten rubber but you get what I mean. At least I tried it though. That's the point). Last week, I sang in front of groups of people, which is something I'd never done before and had always been afraid to do. On Friday, however, I willingly sang several different songs to a group of girls at Zwelibanzi High School. This may not seem like a big deal but, to me, it is. At the beginning of last week when I first went to Zwelibanzi High School, two girls asked me to sing for them and I wouldn't do it for ages because I found it too scary. When I finally did sing, it wasn't for long and I was very quiet. Five days later, I was singing in front of those same girls and a couple more people. I was proud and happy and I loved it. It's amazing how much one person can change in the space of a few days. Although, I stick to my statement that I haven't changed much in other ways. I'm still the person I always have been, I just think I'm a little more open-minded than I was before. I feel like I'm contradicting myself a little but, seeing as I'm the only person who will ever read this (probably. Don't see why anyone else would want to. I'm not a particularly interesting person), I feel like I'm allowed to as I understand what I'm trying to say. Here are a few pictures of my trip...

I really, truly hope that I get to return one day and do some more volunteering and meet up with some of the friends I made whilst over there. It was an unforgettable experience and it has a very large room in my heart (apparently, my heart is like a house). It was the best of times... it was the worst of times...

South Africa: Sunday and Monday

Sunday: On Sunday, I got up early to have a shower and finish packing. We had to check out by ten but our flight wasn't until after six so we went to a shopping centre for about four hours (11:30AM - 3:50PM). It was so fun...
At the airport, we got checked in and stuff. A few of the teachers from the schools we visited came along and I talked to a teacher whose Zulu class I sat in. She complimented me on my singing and dancing (apparently, she saw me on Friday... Slightly embarrassing but she was very sweet). Then it was time to move on again so I had to say goodbye. Still on the plane while writing this so I can't say how it went. So far, I've fallen asleep watching 'Rebel Without A Cause' and now I'm watching 'Jailhouse Rock'. Guess I'm in a 'classic' mood. I liked the first one (at least until I fell asleep anyway) and I've got about an hour left of the second film but it's been really good so far.
Monday: 'Jailhouse Rock' was really good. I loved it!
After trying to get through all of 'Rebel Without A Cause' for a second time and failing (due to exhaustion taking over), I gave up and just slept on and off for a few hours. Tried watching 'Citizen Kane' but I couldn't make it through that either without falling asleep. When I woke up, I watched 'Pitch Perfect' and a bit of 'A Bug's Life'.
Soon though, it was time to get off the plane, find my suitcase and get on the coach to make the short journey back to Edinburgh from Glasgow airport. I began to feel worse and worse as the drive went on. It wasn't great. My sister phoned me and I could barely talk. When I got home, I went straight to bed. I can't remember much else.

South Africa: Friday and Saturday

Friday: We went to both Zwelibanzi and Dloko. It was really fun! We went to Dloko first and they sang and danced and performed for us. We also got up and sang with them which was great. One girl danced right in front of me and I thought she was going to kick me (she didn't, thankfully) but it was so good! I took so many photos!
At Zwelibanzi, they did a performance as well which was equally amazing. I gave my buddy (most awesome person ever) a ring I've had for three years (and wear constantly) and my kilt thing from dancing. She was so happy! I gave her chocolates. It was so sweet! She started crying though when we were leaving which was really sad so I started singing a bunch of songs to try and bring her mood up. It worked and we just sang for a while. It was lovely. I've never sang so much in my life!
Dinner was at a place called 'Hemingways' and it was fine. I was a bit too tired to really have any fun but I enjoyed talking to a couple of teachers and fellow students on the way back. Twas much fun.
Saturday: Today, we went to a couple of markets. I spent quite a lot of money... I hope everyone likes their presents! I bought a few skirts, bracelets and necklaces (all African themed of course. I'm not exactly going to go to Africa and buy a Union Jack bracelet am I? As much as I love all things British) and a couple of bags. Also got two rings from a great jeweller called Chantel Wild who designs amazing things (I'll put the link to her website somewhere below or something so that whoever reads this in the future (me) can look at more of her beautiful jewellery. We went to a water park and it was so cool! I met a guy called Keaton (that's probably not how you spell it but you get the idea) and he was telling me about the ride we were about to go on (a tornado thing or something. Whatever. It was really fun anyway). He was really nice (also really hot which was an added bonus). When I told him we were from the UK, he said I didn't sound it so I talked in an English accent for a little bit which was funny (well, it was for me. Not sure if he enjoyed it as much as I did). The rides were awesome! I loved it!
Dinner was really fun! I got loads of pictures and talked to so many people! I had a really long talk about Zulu (not sure if that's right but I'll go with it) marriage requirements with two South Africans and a guy from my school which was interesting. Apparently, to be worthy of marriage to a virgin woman, a man must buy her eleven cows. It was a really funny conversation.
http://www.wildbydesign.co.za/ <---- Link to Jewellery thingy I mentioned earlier in this post.

South Africa: Thursday

I went back to Dloko but for the whole day this time. It was so much fun! I don't tend to sing in front of people (besides when I'm singing to myself) but I sang constantly! Two teachers and a couple of students told me I had a really nice voice which was really sweet. I think it was just because I was singing so much and I hadn't really done that before. It was amazing! I had so much fun! I helped teach the choir some dances and a couple of songs ('Loch Lomond' and 'Auld Lang Syne') which, I think, they really enjoyed. I also taught a few non-choir girls the lyrics to 'Loch Lomond'. They taught us a couple of South African songs too. It was awesome! A few students pulled me into their group and taught me the song and dance while the teachers and other students in the room were taught by the choir teacher. It was really fun singing and dancing with them!
Seeing as it was Valentine's Day, the restaurant we went to was decorated (there were rose petals and glittery things on the table) which was okay. I'm not really a huge fan of it (the moan of a single girl who's fine being single until February 14th comes along and reminds her that no one loves her...). I ordered a glass of rosé and the guy beside me laughed a little. In the end, him and his friends ordered a bottle and split it between them. They got another bottle later on. I feel like they might have been mocking me a little bit but it was kinda funny seeing them drink it. Especially as they didn't even like it.

South Africa: Wednesday

Today, we visited Charles Memorial Primary School. I wish I was eloquent enough to describe my feelings today but I'm not so I'll just have to try. Walking into the school, we were greeted by the students and teachers of the school. They sang and were incredibly welcoming to us. It was wonderful (a teacher thought we were from America and mentioned how great it was that us Americans were doing so much to help them but it was funny. I also love America so I didn't mind). Afterwards, I went into a couple of classes and, eventually stumbled into one with 6-7 year olds. I think it was Grade 2. I met a six year old called Asanda and she stayed with me for the rest of the day. She was very quiet but stuck to me like glue and was quite possessive of me in an adorable way. I spent the whole day with her; carrying her around, holding her hand, dancing with her. She was amazing! I even bought her an ice-cream (which she was very grateful for). I also spent time with other students. Leaving them has to be one of the hardest things I have ever done. Asanda tried to take me away to stop me from leaving and I was trying so hard not to cry and show her how upset I was. Many of the children there are orphans and they're all struggling in some way. It broke my heart. I just wanted to adopt her. I think it's one of those things that you will never truly understand until you experience it for yourself and can't explain it if you have. There were so many emotions; I was thrilled to meet the children and to get to spend time with them but leaving was heartbreaking. So many of us were crying. It was horrible! I just have to think of it as we made these children so happy for a few hours and that is amazing.
Afterwards, we went to a stadium but me and a few others just had lunch. Some of the guys went and looked around but I don't think many people were up for much after what we had just experienced.
I don't really remember dinner (Finishing writing this on Tuesday 19th February, the day after I got home) but I do remember not eating very much and just wishing I could go back to the hotel the whole time. It was a very difficult day but I'm still glad I experienced it. It was unforgettable.
I've attached two photos to this post. I'm with Asanda in both. I love her so much and I wish I could have adopted her.

South Africa: Tuesday

Once again, I visited Zwelibanzi High School (which was awesome!) and went to some of Amanda's classes. I love her to pieces! She's so sweet! I also spent a little time with a girl called Precious (I also love her) who was adorable! I got loads of photos taken! The whole thing was incredible!
At eleven o'clock, I went to a different school called Dloko which was nice. Students sang and danced and I even got to join in at the end! It was so fun!
When we got back to the hotel, I decided to go to the beach. The waves were so fun! My shower at the hotel afterwards though was very sandy. I didn't find that very fun.
Dinner was okay. I didn't really eat very much because there wasn't much I liked. I just had a little rice. Super tired though. Less than five hours sleep every night since Saturday is really starting to get to me.
Jessica
xoxo

South Africa: Monday

We visited a school called Zwelibanzi today (Well, half of us did anyway. The other half went to another one called Dloko) which was amazing! I met so many incredible people. One stood out in particular. Her name was Thoboko (Amanda) and she was eighteen years old. I also met her friend Nobuhle who was just as lovely. Amanda was my buddy and I went to her classes (Life Sciences, English, Zulu, Maths and Physics) with her until I had to leave (which was really sad. She walked me to the bus. I hated leaving her! She was so lovely!). Her and her friend managed to convince me to sing... I sang a bit of 'Titanium' and they were so sweet! I was extremely flattered and, of course, completely disagreed with their compliments but it was still really nice of them.
When we got back to hotel room, most people went to the beach/market but I stayed in my hotel room on my own. I sang, danced, updated Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr simultaneously (all thanks to Instagram). I slept for eleven minutes. Then my temporary roommates came back and my sleep was ruined. I was quite tired.
Dinner was fun... I had some butternut ravioli and a glass of Rosé wine. Everyone got a little drunk/tipsy. It was kinda hilarious. I had a really nice chat with my former head teacher who was telling me all about the charity to help street children and others out. He is such an inspiration. I also talked to my current head teacher about important issues such as uniform at James Gillespie's and whether or not Scotland should become independent (it shouldn't). I had another talk with another teacher about big political debates and things which was interesting. Apparently, I was in a very political mood tonight...
Back at the hotel, my roommates and I sort of embarrassed ourselves in front of two teachers... Not going to say anything else on that. Way too embarrassing.
Jessica
xoxo

South Africa: Sunday

Today, we went to Tala Game Reserve which was awesome! I had to walk from the coach to the restaurant bit where everyone was meeting (it was horrible and muddy and gross which, really, I should have expected because, duh, it's a fricking safari!) because my head teacher said it wasn't 'that far'. To be fair, it wasn't but it was still muddy. I had to jump over this huge river thing which was... interesting.
The safari bit was fricking amazing! I saw giraffe's, zebras, Pumba from The Lion King (unfortunately, this part isn't exactly 100% true. Technically, I saw a few warthog's and decided they were all called Pumba), eagles, ostridges (is that how you spell it?), a few Bambi's (again, of course, I mean deer) and so many other animals! I loved it! When we got back from the safari, we went on a 'Bush Walk' thing which was also really good. I saw loads of plants and various insects. It was great! After that, we went for a swim in some beautiful (slightly dirty but I'm just being picky) green water. It was really nice!
We also had lunch during that time but it wasn't that great so I'm not going to give it too much time. I had another (third one in three days) burger. It tasted like beef. It was okay.
We had a couple of hours when we got back to the hotel so I had a quick shower.
Dinner was nice. I had a fish thing which tasted lovely. Again, it's just food so there isn't really much to say.
Oh, and I tried octopus! Not great. It wasn't disgusting just weird.

South Africa: Saturday

Today, we got up at 8:20AM and went down for breakfast at 9:00AM so I was glad we got to sleep in for a bit (unlike tomorrow, when we have to be down for breakfast at 6:30AM. Really looking forward to that...). After we had breakfast, we sorted through all of the clothes and donations we had brought for different sets of people (street children and students at the schools we are going to visit) into different teachers' rooms. We had a little while to 'relax' or something in our own hotel rooms. At about one, we went to the beach (which was beautiful) and then, at two, we went to meet some street children. It's awful how much these people have been through. I was listening to a twelve-year-old tell his story (his sister abused him so he and his friend walked from Istanbul to Durban. Not entirely sure if that last part's true as Istanbul is a very long way away from Durban but it's still really sad) and I felt terrible for him. No one should ever have to go through that.
We got back to the hotel after a lovely walk through the streets, at about quarter to five, had a quick drink (Tried to order Coconut water, the waiter thought I said 'coke and water' so that was fun...) then went upstairs to our rooms. I had a shower (as did everyone else in my room) then we went down to meet everyone else at about ten to seven for dinner. The restaurant we ate at was lovely but I felt a bit sick so it wasn't too great. There were also cockroaches running around...
Just got back to the hotel and I have to be up in less than five hours to go to a safari park. Going to die.
(Metaphorically, of course)
Jessica
xoxo

South Africa: Thursday and Friday

Thursday: Everyone going to South Africa met in the school's gym hall and we went out in families (Ten or so students per teacher. Called 'Families' for easiness) and divided all 76 (I think) students and 10 (Again, not entirely sure about this) teachers into two very, very large coaches. We had left by 3:30PM and the coach journey wasn't actually that bad. It was kinda fun. Some guys in my year started singing some random but funny songs (ranging from 'Afternoon Delight' to 'I'll Be There For You' (The theme song from 'Friends'. If you don't know what that is, Google it then watch it. It is amazing)) so that made it a little better.
The first flight was long but okay. At least until it came to eating... The food was actually quite nice but, unfortunately, since eating it, I have had horrible stomach pains and been sick 3 times. Gross. I'm not saying it has anything to do with the food. It's just annoying. I also didn't get much sleep on the plane and, having had none the night before, I was exhausted.
Friday: The flight from Glasgow to Dubai took about eight hours and we got there a couple of hours before we had to get on the flight for Durban, South Africa which meant we had time to go and get something to eat and drink. I got a vanilla milkshake and mints but I couldn't finish the milkshake because I felt too sick. The plane ride was okay. I met two lovely South African women called Leanne and Nikki. I talked to them for a little bit. They were really lovely and I liked them. Unfortunately, my mysterious illness was worse than ever on this flight. I didn't eat or drink anything and was sick three times. Awful.
When we were finally off of the plane and had collected our luggage, we went and met a large group of South Africans. I think they were all from the schools our High School donates to so that was amazing. They were fantastic! May or may not post some videos here.
Dinner was fine and I'm just about to go to bed. Really looking forward to the rest of this trip!
Jessica
xoxo

A Few Hours To Go...

I've just got home from a (slightly) pointless lesson. Had to go in first thing and I'm leaving again in a few minutes. Everything is packed, my carry-on is almost finished. I'm, pretty much, ready to go.
The only annoying thing (other than the disgusting shade of green hoody I have to wear) is that I haven't had any sleep. I tried to get to sleep for almost six hours last night but it just didn't work for some reason. I haven't even had any coffee since my skinny vanilla cappuccino yesterday. Must. Drink. Coffee.
Oh well. Hopefully, there will be WiFi where I'm staying (It's a four-star hotel so I bloody hope so!) so that I can continue to blog. Having a bit of fun.
Must dash - 21 hours traveling is waiting for me...
Yay...
Jessica
xoxo

1 Day To Go...

Not sure what I'm going to do when I get back from South Africa and can no longer name my posts after how many days I have to go until I leave for South Africa. Guess I will just have to ponder that when I get back.
It's ten o'clock right now and I am panicking. Every five minutes, I remember something else I've forgotten to do. Whether it's ironing, packing, something electrical charging or something else. This is not good. This is bad. Instead of 'Less Stress With Jess', I've become 'Increasing Stress With Jess'. I keep having internal debates about everything; "Should I take this top? No? Leave it. Maybe I should take it. I'll take it. Have I done this? No? Frick. Just another thing to add to my ever-expanding 'To Do List'...". This makes me sound crazy but, I promise, I'm not. If I am, it's the stress. Probably...
So far, I've remembered that I haven't filled out a certain college-application form that I need to send tomorrow and so I'm 'working' hard to get that done. Or, at least, I will be when I finish this post.
I'm also trying to cope with the fact that I'm going to miss A LOT of TV. No Modern Family, The New Normal, Pretty Little Liars, The Vampire Diaries or Glee for the next week. I realise that the fact that I am going to miss them whilst in South Africa may sound a little (a lot) pathetic but these are some of my favourite shows. Each one makes me laugh, get angry, cry (mostly Glee even though it's supposed to be a comedy) or a mixture of all three every week. I enjoy them. There is nothing wrong with that. Maybe I'll get lucky and be so busy/tired that I will forget all about the characters and plots of my favourite television shows. Although, I am pretty annoyed that I'm going to miss Klaine making out at Wemma's wedding. Not because I'm a pervert (don't even have a snarky comment to put here) but because I really love the couple. They love each other so much and I have decided that they will be together forever... once they come to their senses that is.
Don't really know what else to say. Hopefully, I will be able to post a few pictures whilst in South Africa as I've come to like this blogging thing. Even if I am the only one who reads it. It's kinda like a diary and it might be nice to come back to it a few years after I stop (if I ever stop) and read what I wrote at different times in my life. Yes, I am that sentimental. Sorry.
Jessica
xoxo
P.S. Dear future me, please don't turn into an asshole. Be nice to people. Because nobody likes an asshole.

My attempt at being healthy...

So, as I said in a previous blog post, I decided to order a skinny vanilla cappaccino instead of my usual skinny vanilla latte. It tasted amazing but my old favourite is still my favourite. I also got some delicious carrot cake. Not that anyone cares seeing as I'm about 99.9% sure I'm the only one who will ever read this but I enjoy taking pictures so here's what I ordered. Hate to be picky but I kinda wish they'd made a pretty picture thing out of the foamy (using the scientific term, obviously) bit on the top. Oh well...

Just a random picture of myself in a dress...

So, I bought this dress for my trip to South Africa. It's not my usual style but I actually really like it.
P.S. Ignore the mess on my bed. I'm still getting everything organised to leave on Thursday.
Less Stress With Jess? More like More Mess With Jess...

2 Days To Go...

Only two days until I leave for South Africa!
It's just after 10PM here in the United Kingdom and I just found out (a couple of hours ago but that's still pretty recent) that same-sex marriage was legalized in England today! On Darren Criss' Birthday no less! This makes me very happy for obvious (probably not-so-obvious actually) reasons. I am a big lover of marriage. Always have been. I really believe in it and I think that it is something that everyone should have the right to. I just think there's something wonderful about loving someone enough that you want to commit to them for the rest of your life and show the world (or closest friends and family) that you are with this other person forever. To be honest, I've never really understood why anyone would be against two people in love wanting to commit to each other in holy matrimony (not even entirely sure if that's the right term but it sounds right so I'll stick to it for now). I mean, love is love, right?
So, that's where I lie on the whole thing. Me, being a hopeless romantic and all. I really could go on about this topic forever and how much I support it and how happy it makes me but I won't. Because I don't have hours to kill unfortunately.
Today was my Philosophy prelim which sucked as I kinda wanted to spend Darren Criss' birthday celebrating with all the other 'nice people' (Darren Criss joke. He once referred to his fans as 'really nice people'. I think it was during an interview for The Trevor Project in 2012 actually. Once again, if I've gotten this particular quote wrong, I apologize. Even though I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who will ever read this blog) on Tumblr, Twitter and Facebook. But, alas, I could not do that.
Darren Criss is just one of my many celebrities I'm in love with (Others include Chris Colfer, Lea Michele, Taylor Swift, Tyler Oakley, John Green and Zach Braff. Also, Zac Efron and Ellen Degeneres...). I hate the fact that the only time I will ever be lucky enough to talk to him/hear him sing a song to me/hear him sing a song about me, is in my dreams. But, there's not much I can do about that so I may as well accept it. Darren Criss is just one of those flawless human being that can, literally, do anything. He can sing, dance, play any instrument ever created and is also extremely clever and funny and adorable. Not to mention all his humanitarian work and his song-writing skills. He also happens to be gorgeous beyond compare. It's unfair really. I'm not entirely sure he's human. Still speculating that he's a God of sorts...
Anyway, yeah, he turns 26 today! Happy Birthday to him!
And I'm done with my Darren bit...
I just finished (again, more like half an hour ago now but whatever) typing up biographies for my school yearbook (only 5, mine and four others). Two of them were mostly about football. Or, rather, the football teams the person liked and how the friend who had written it did not support the same team. Mine was quite sweet actually. I managed to sneak in a Taylor Swift reference at the end (Yes, I'm that type of person) so I'll always have that private joke with myself which is nice. Yeah, it's nice that I can have my own private jokes with myself. Just shows how ridiculous I am. I put Taylor Swift's song title 'Change' into the last sentence. It isn't a very big or noticeable thing which is what I wanted. For the next 20, 30, or even 50 years, I will be able to look back on my High School yearbook and remember how silly/sentimental I was back in 2013 (Or, now).
I'm going for coffee with my best friend Jane tomorrow which should be good. Going to mix it up a little and order a fat-free vanilla cappuccino. When I say 'little', I really do mean it. My normal order is a fat-free vanilla latte. Can you tell how rebellious I am?
Jessica
xoxo

3 Days To Go...

This is my first blog post, ever so bear with me... I've always wanted to blog and Ugly Betty seemed to enjoy it so I'm finally giving it a go. Although I highly doubt anyone will ever read it, I have to admit, it's kinda therapeutic.
So, for me, 2013 has gone by pretty fast. I turned 17 on 3rd January and I leave for Durban, South Africa in two days. I'm not entirely sure what to make of it yet. Part of me is excited, another part of me can't wait to wander around in the new clothes I bought but the final part of me is a little nervous. I've never done anything like this before, gone so far out of my comfort zone. I'm the type of person who finds change scary so this is a big deal for me. The only time I haven't felt nervous about going to another country was when I went to America in June 2011. I loved the whole experience. I know this sounds melodramatic and cheesy but I truly felt like I was home for some reason. I felt as comfortable there as I do right now living in Edinburgh, United Kingdom. I stayed in New York for half of my trip and Washington DC for the other half and I can honestly say that it was one of the best week of my life. I felt like I belonged there (I know, yet more cheese. I'm sorry). I'm a pretty optimistic person but, while there, I felt ten times the amount of hope I normally do. It was almost as if being there, where all my favourite celebrities and movies live and happen (Except J. K. Rowling, she lives in Edinburgh and the Harry Potter films, pretty sure they were made in the UK) helped me to be able to imagine all of my own dreams and aspirations coming true. I really hope I get to go back there someday. Also, Dollars seem to be the only currency beside the Great British Pound that I can actually understand. Euros confused me and I don't know what I'm going to do about Rand. This is going to be interesting... And by 'interesting', I mean embarrassing. I'm going to humiliate myself. Especially when I have to ask my friend Megan what a certain coin or note means in English. And I will definitely say 'English' even though that's probably not the right thing to say. I'll say it because that's the only way it will make sense to me. Because I'm a nitwit. On the upside though, I'm positive that this trip will be unforgettable. I'll see things I've never seen before and will never see again, I'll meet people who will teach me things I could never imagine knowing, I'll have once in a lifetime experiences... I know that some of it is going to be really upsetting and that it won't all be fun and happy, I'm not that naive. The thing I'm going to focus on though is all of the good that I'll get to see. I can't wait for the experiences I'll get to have and everything I'll get to do. I feel so incredibly lucky to be going there. I realise that I may be putting too much pressure on this trip to be everything I expect it to be but that's just because I'm hopeful that it will be. And I've heard good things about this trip... Going to sleep now and then I'm going to cram for my Philosophy prelim tomorrow... And by 'cram', I mean do the first lot of studying for this thing that I've done at all... Oh well, maybe I'll do well and only fail one of the four topics... One can only hope.
Jessica
xoxo