How is it May already?

Not the catchiest title ever but this blog is just for me which means I am the only one who will judge it later.

I'm in lockdown with my boyfriend at the moment which means I haven't been back to the South of Edinburgh in over a month.

It's been weird.
Lots of ups and downs.

This is both of ours' longest relationship and we'd only been together for 7 months when lockdown happened.

For someone who has avoided a relationship since her last one ended in 2016 and someone who had never had a girlfriend or even dated someone longer than a month and a half, that wasn't long enough to make us ready to move in together.

There have been some challenges...

But I think, overall, we're coping okay.

I'm a key worker within a charity so I'm still going into work most days and he's working from home but going into work is probably one of the only things keeping my sane right now.

It's making things seem more normal than they are.

Of course, I'm still reminded of how odd things actually are in the world at the moment.

For example, I'm off of work today.

I booked this holiday three months ago because it's my boyfriend's birthday tomorrow.

My plans were to stay at my flat the night before (30th April) and to head into town for my hair cut and colour so that I looked nice for his birthday.
On the morning of his birthday, I was going to head to Greggs to get him a Greggs breakfast and a coffee.

Obviously, none of those things are happening at the moment.

Instead, I haven't seen my flat in what feels like forever and my hair is losing its blondness.

I went to Tesco today and had to shop by following arrows and flinching whenever someone got too close.

It's been odd but I think he'll have a good birthday.

All of his presents from his family and I are wrapped and hidden in a cupboard, he's sipping on one of his favourite beers which I ordered from Brewdog especially for his birthday and I'll bake his cake tomorrow while he's on his racing game.

It isn't what I planned but I think it'll be nice.

I ordered some nail polish for myself though because, even though it's something I usually only do at Christmas, I need help with keeping myself happy and entertained.

This is kind of a rambling blog post and I feel like I'm not really saying anything of importance.

Times are hard and strange right now and it makes me uneasy.

A year ago, I was going to beer gardens with the guy I was seeing (A lovely guy who I ended things with because I hated my job and it was making me feel rubbish so I wasn't in a good mental space), I was meeting my best friend for a drink and wandering around Newington.
I was going to work every single day at that job I hated (Honestly, the biggest mistake I ever made was working at Standard Life but it led me to where I am now so I have to accept that at least) and buying a coffee and a croissant from Pret on the way (usually because I needed that one positive thing in the morning to force myself to go into work).

It was so normal but now it seems insane.

My boyfriend is extremely chilled about most things and he's relatively easy to live with.
I'm still paying rent for the flat I haven't been to in almost two months but he's not making me pay bills here so I'm doing all of the housework - something which probably sounds sexist but suits us.

He is also extremely sarcastic - something I've found harder to deal with considering my less positive moods over the last few weeks.

I'm getting used to it though.

And my situation isn't even close to as bad as some people's.

The stories I hear about healthcare workers living in hotels so that they don't risk giving Coronavirus to their families are the worst.

I find myself both wishing I did have a kid and also being incredibly grateful I don't at the moment.
I wish I had a child because I'm broody and it would be amazing to get to have so much time with them at the moment but I'm also grateful I don't have one because I'm a key worker and I wouldn't want to risk anything happening to them.

Everyone's kind of in limbo right now.

You can't make plans to travel because you don't know when you'll be able to.
You can't sit and relax because it'll be over in a few weeks because you don't know if it will be or not.

My best friend's grandad is seriously ill and I can't be with her or give her a hug or hold her hand and be there for her.

I don't even know if she can be there for him in what could be his final days.

I've sent her a 'Hug in a Box'. It's a teddy bear that comes in a box and it will, hopefully, cheer her up a bit.

As a control freak, these uncertain times are stressing me out.

Especially as someone who always tries to have plans because I've been more prone to loneliness since nanny died.

My boyfriend is helping though. Not as much as I'd often like thanks to games but as much as he can.

He'll be 25 tomorrow which seems crazy.

When did I get to be so old? I swear I was 20 yesterday.

He's wonderful though.

Unlike when I dated Hugh all those years ago, I don't know if we'll be together forever and I don't plan as if we will be.

But I love that I get to have him now.

He's so smart and funny and he makes me happy almost as much as he makes me roll my eyes at him.

I wouldn't have it any other way though.

I hope he enjoys his first birthday with a girlfriend and that I can make him feel as special as he makes me feel just by continuing to let me live in his world with him.

I can't say sappy stuff like that to him so I've said it here.

The reason I feel special is because I see how he is with strangers. Not super talkative, polite but reserved... He's very much an introvert.
With me though, he lets some of those walls down a little bit to let me in and although he's sarcastic all of the time, in the rare moments when he's not, I get to see someone no one else does.

I won't say too much more but I love him.

I'm glad he showed me what real love was and, even though I can't tell the future, I'm very glad he's in my present.

I hope everyone's safe and I hope you're okay, Future Jess, when you're reading this years later.

Love,
Jessica
xoxo

Eteaket - Edinburgh's Greatest Tea Room

I was going to use a tea pun in the title but decided against it...
You're welcome.

Eteaket's first tea room in Edinburgh opened up in 2008 but its origin story goes back much further than that.
The founder of this incredible company, Erica, used to be a litigation lawyer before deciding that life was much too short to 'be doing something she wasn't completely fulfilled by and passionate about'.
After this, Erica made one of the bravest decisions of her life and began the process of bringing back leaf tea to the British market - something that definitely took a great deal of courage considering the booming coffee industry at the time.
After trips to Sri Lanka and India to learn as much about the tea trade as possible, she opened up the first Eteaket tea room on at 41 Frederick Street in Edinburgh in December 2008.

Erica managed to continue to build her business despite the financial crisis at the time and it is now a company that ships tea across the world, supplies cafe's and restaurants with leaf tea and has a brilliant website.
Eteaket just took another big step by opening up its first retail concept store at 111 Rose Street in Edinburgh, which is another great central location in the city centre.

My first taste of this company was just over a year and a half ago in mid 2016.
An old friend of mine and I decided to try it out for a catch-up so we headed over to Frederick Street and took a seat.
We were served instantly and it took us several minutes to pick just one flavour of tea to have each. My friend chose a floral one while I played it safe with peppermint but, after trying each others, we both agreed that this tea was of incredible quality.

My next experience with the company wouldn't be until much more recently.
I was at a business event at Edinburgh Zoo where they were showing a taster of a Chinese Lantern festival they will be hosting for 50 days running from December when I got a chance to try some more of Eteaket's tea.
The first thing I noticed when I came up the stairs to where all of the different tables were laid out was the Eteaket Tea table.
I love tea so this was heaven for me.
I bypassed the wine and was offered a selection of teas. Once again, playing it safe, I chose the English Breakfast tea and I was instantly at ease in my new surroundings.
The rich, comforting flavour of the tea relaxed me enough to be able to go and speak to other people at the event and I carried it around for most of my time there.

Later on, after some incredible, hand-crafted lanterns had been revealed, I actually got a chance to talk to Erica.
We started discussing the lanterns before moving onto tea and Eteaket.
I had no idea she was the founder of the company and it didn't fully hit me until after she'd handed me her business card.
Erica is so inspiring to me. She's a working mother but, most importantly, she's someone who truly cares about getting Britain, and Scotland, to embrace leaf tea.
Erica works tirelessly with her incredible team to find new flavours and the manager I met at the tea stand (A lovely woman called Angela) even convinced me to try their new Tomatin Whisky Tea.
It's the 1st ever barrel-aged tea and combines traditional flavours with those of the famous distillery in the Highlands of Scotland.
I am not a fan of whisky. It burns my throat and I simply don't like the taste but this tea was just the right amount of flavour for me to be able to enjoy it.
My talks with Erica and Angela that night (and also the three different types of tea I tried) inspired me to look up the website and do some more research about the company.

Anyone who knows me knows I love coffee but I actually drink much more tea so I was in my element.
The website is easy to browse and even has tips on when it's best to drink each tea and the strength of it.
I bought the 3 Month Tea Club and was thrilled when it arrived. I waited until I had a day off from work so I could enjoy it properly and it was definitely worth the wait.
The beautiful and simple packaging and the gorgeous colour of the teapot inside got me extremely excited for the English Breakfast tea and it was truly scrumptious.

I can't wait to order some more and to receive my next two boxes in my subscription.
Jane and I will definitely need to visit the tea room soon!

Jessica

Videos from my Instagram Story: @msjessjohnston

To read more about the founding of this company, click here: Eteaket Story

To shop some delicious tea, click here: Eteaket Treats

#WeStandWithZoe

So, apparently, some people have forgotten that women are no longer expected to go to such extremes as hiding their ankles (Looking at you, Victorian Britain!). 

The hashtag above has been trending for the past few hours and it's infuriating. 

Earlier today, The Sun and The Daily Mail published articles about how lifestyle vlogger, beauty queen and all-around incredible person Zoella (Zoe Sugg) had 'shed her wholesome image' after posting a photo of herself in her underwear.

Firstly, it's hardly a racy photo. Most of her body is covered and she's wearing a T-Shirt. 

Secondly, how f*cking dare they. 

Who are they to be telling a 25 year old woman that she isn't allowed to feel comfortable or proud of her own body? 

She's a gorgeous, talented, successful woman. 

She may have young fans but Justin Bieber has young fans and you don't see the media shaming him after every naked Instagram post. 

I can't believe I live in a time where women are still shamed because of their bodies and men are praised for it. 

I'll leave you with a final photo. 

Goodnight!

Jessica

xoxo

Happy Mother's Day!

It's Mother's Day here in the UK. 

A day that is, traditionally, spent celebrating the woman who brought you into this world - your mum.

Or, you know, a Hallmark Holiday invented by card businesses to capitalise on the public's love of celebrating. 

While I'm all for appreciating your mother, I don't think it should be all about that one person because, for many, it isn't. 

I was raised by my grandmother and my aunt continues to guide me through life with her never-ending mum-isms. 

My mum has always been around and she is a trier, you know? She tries her best. 

But we don't see eye to eye on a lot of things and that's neither of our faults. 

I still love her though. Unconditionally. 

A lot of people don't have Hallmark relationships with their parents. I use that term because so many cards are filled with loving poems about mothers and not all of them apply to everyone. 

It's for this reason that I'm taking the time to spend my hungover (more on that later) Mother's Day feeling grateful for the woman who made me me. 

Mother's Day isn't just about the woman who brought you into this world, it's about the women who bring you up. So Happy Mother's Day to all the women who raise daughters they didn't give birth to and who teach us to be strong, brave and who always believe in us when we don't believe in ourselves! 

Jessica

xoxo