You can't just keep expecting people to change. You can hint it to them and tell them how frustrated you are with their actions for years but they'll never change unless they make the decision to.
I'm having difficulty practicing what I preach right now because it's hard to let go of that hope. You grow up around someone and watch them make the same stupid mistakes all the time and they never learn. When you get older, you try and talk to them about your personal issues and how they could help themselves but, ultimately, you can't change people.
It's one of the hardest lessons in life to learn but also one of the most important.
No matter how much you love someone and hope they will change, they're never going to be the person you need them to be.
So you have two choices: you can live with it and accept them for how they are or you can move on from them and try to cope that way.
For me, it's someone in my family. Someone you're supposed to love and respect unconditionally.
I love her, with all my heart, but I find it impossible to look at her in the way I'm expected to.
I don't respect her choices, I don't understand her actions and some of the things she's done have really affected me emotionally.
But she has good points.
She's kind, her heart is in the right place (most of the time) and she tries hard with me. Most of the time.
Unfortunately, it's the difficult times that tend to make you reflect the most and, for me, I have to decide whether or not I can cope with having it feature in my life prominently.
It's impossible to cut her out of my life completely and I don't want that.
If she wasn't who she was, I would have done. A long time ago.
But it's trickier than that.
I don't think I'm ever going to stop hoping and praying she'll change one day but I hope I can learn to stop trying.
It might take me moving far away for it to happen but I'm willing to accept that.
There's only so much of yourself you can give to a difficult situation before it consumes you.
Jessica
xoxo
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