Wow. It's been a while... Thank God the only person judging me is me...
Okay. So. I just saw The Greatest Showman and it was just as incredible as everyone said it was.
Hugh Jackman and Michelle Williams stole my heart with their adorable love story but the biggest thing I took from it was that, with a hard work and big dreams, anything is possible.
I love that message.
For as long as I can remember, Hope has been one of the most important things in my life.
Whenever, I was down, I'd simply remember to hope because there was better in my future than this moment of sadness I was in right then.
Whenever I felt a pang of sadness or loss over losing nanny, my first love would tell me the word 'Temporary'. This one word would make me stop and think for long enough for me to remember to have hope because, no matter what I was feeling then, it was only 'temporary'.
There has only ever been one period of time where I have lost hope entirely but my friends and their neverending support and love got me through that time so I never dwell on it.
The Greatest Showman reminded me of that feeling of being in love and being desperate to be good enough and to prove yourself. While the part of me that felt she wasn't good enough is wearing away with every new thing I involve myself in and every step I take away from that, I still feel desperate to prove myself and to become something.
By 'something', I simply mean that I want to make a difference.
I want to help people and make as many people happy as possible.
Because we're all going to have down moments and not everyone has someone around all the time to remind them it's temporary.
I'm not quite sure how I'm going to do that yet but I'm working on it!
Every time I meet someone amazing, I'm reminded of how even the smallest things are important.
Even tonight! I was walking home after the cinema and I paused to find The Greatest Showman soundtrack on my phone so that I could put my favourite songs on my current playlist when a woman came over to me.
She asked if I was locked out and I explained that I was finding an album on my phone and that I was fine.
The kind woman then took my hand and expressed that she was worried because it's freezing. I told her I had lost my gloves and that I was fine but she was so lovely.
It made me smile most of the way home simply because of how kind and sweet she was.
A couple of weeks ago, while in Marks and Spencer, I complimented the cashier's ring and she was so grateful and sweet. She showed me her matching bracelets and thanked me for the compliment before telling me 'I'm not used to getting compliments'.
Something I didn't think twice about made that woman's day. My heart broke slightly when she told me she wasn't used to compliments as it was such a simple one.
It just reminded me how important those tiny things are.
Anyway...
I kinda went on a tangent...
On an Edinburgh note, I am so grateful to be from this beautiful city.
I meet some of the loveliest people here and I will be a little bit heartbroken whenever I do move away.
I've been taking some photos of places I see daily on my walk to/from work or places I grew up seeing.
Edinburgh's just evolving so much that I feel like I need this photographic evidence. Who knows what these streets will look like when I come back with my family one day.
I hope it's still as kind and welcoming as it always has been.
Edinburgh people are amazing.
I also hope I can find some way to help people in this city before I leave to start whatever new adventure takes me away from Edinburgh.
The littlest things mean so much to people.
I hope this make some semblance of sense.
It's midnight and I'm singing along to 'A Million Dreams' and 'Tightrope' from The Greatest Showman soundtrack...
Love,
Jess
xoxo
